Loving Brother Angel
by the.woods
Summary: Buffy is Angel and Faith's new foster sister. What happens when Buffy and Angel get *too* close? Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Angelus. *IN THE PROCESS OF BEING RE-WRITTEN.*
1. Dreams & Nightmares

**TITLE:** Loving Brother Angel  
**AUTHOR:** the_woods_ (neverlookback)  
**RATING:** M  
**SUMMARY:** Buffy has been passed from foster home to foster home her whole life. It's been three months, and Buffy has been living with a family she has finally come to call her own. Things between her 'brother' Angel start getting hot once Buffy realizes she has feelings for him. Will she put their desires in check? Or go behind everyone's advice to get Angel? Some people do not want them together...and those from both Buffy's present and her past will stop at nothing to keep the couple apart.  
**DISCLAIMER:** I obviously don't own any of the characters listed in this story. Why write fan fiction when I could control minds on tv?**  
**

**x.x.x**

For a moment, all was calm within the house. Buffy stretched out on the couch and yawned. Faith turned off the television before tossing the remote onto her sister's lap. Buffy released the tension in her limbs and sagged into the couch, a content and sleepy look on her face.

Summer was coming to an end, but Buffy felt as if she'd been in the family for much longer than that. It still got tense and occasionally awkward during some moments, but like all moments, those times passed without damage.

"You comin' to bed, B?" the brunette asked.

"I'm going to wait for Angel," Buffy answered with a hint of compassion. She picked up her book off the carpet and snuggled back into the couch. Faith chuckled and said goodnight as she made her way up the stairs.

The two sisters didn't bond immediately. Buffy assumed it was because Faith might have been uncomfortable adopting a year-older female. Luckily, past similarities established a connection between the pair and each found the other to be a great sister and friend, after all.

Buffy turned a page and tried to focus on the words in front of her. Her thoughts, however, would not hold onto the story of forbidden love between a vampire and a slayer. She kept drifting back to Angel.

He was mature for his age. Only seventeen and already commanded the house while their parents were away on separate business trips. A soft smile played on her lips as she thought of the brotherly role he assumed so naturally with Faith. When he was around Buffy, it was a different kind of relationship; something between them she couldn't quite place. She enjoyed his company more than anyone else's.

Tonight, he had decided to skip out on the Lifetime movie Buffy and Faith watched in their pajamas out of boredom. He told them both he'd be at the Bronze, a local club—or rather, the only local club—in Sunnydale. Faith usually would beg to come, if only to meet a few of the older guys, but Angel always said no. Buffy didn't really care for hanging out with Angel's friends, seeing as they weren't exactly smart. Or nice, for that matter. She'd often hear remarks about her appearance in regards to her relationship with Angel and Faith; something meant to tease, sure, but it still left her feeling awkward and unsure of her position in the family.

That first meeting with Spike and the rest of Angel's friends had been incredibly awkward. His friends had assumed she was his "hot date" for the night at the Bronze. When they finally discovered she was, in fact, the new adopted member of the family, Spike made it even worse.

"You look nothing like Angel," Spike had told her, a red plastic cup filled with alcohol in his hands. He smirked, obvious to the fact that she was newly adopted to the family. "In fact, you two look nothing like kin. Don't people adopt for looks?"

Buffy shivered and pulled the blankets closer to her. While Faith and Angel both had deep, dark brown hair and eyes, Buffy's hair was a sun-kissed blonde and her eyes varied from emerald to dark blue. In a way, Spike's teasing was a constant reminder of something she couldn't have: Angel. Unless she was willing to leave the family when she turned eighteen, she couldn't have any sort of relationship with Angel, other than the familiar kind.

Buffy closed her eyes and shifted her back, finding comfort in the pillows. Night after night, she'd wait for him to come home. As always, she'd fall asleep without seeing him walk through the door. Buffy placed the book upon her stomach and let her mind float into sleep.

She was having that same dream, again. It was only when she drifted off to sleep that she thought of _him_. Buffy never wanted to bring up her past life around Faith or Angel because the entire thing was too much of a coincidence to think about.

His maniacal laugh sounded off in Buffy's head as she slept. She briefly wondered what Angel would think. Would he turn her away, knowing what she knew about her past? Would he still accept her? Could he find it in his heart to still love her?

The dream was always the same. There was a chill filling her entire being. The room was all too familiar; dark and isolated, she could hear his footsteps coming. Suddenly, she realized she was only in her underwear. Buffy tried to cover herself and went to go hide in a corner. She had always felt this way around him: like a little girl, unable to defend herself, unable to get away.

The door opened. He couldn't be more than a few years older than her. Buffy couldn't remember where they had met, how they had come to be. She only knew that somehow, before she knew Angel or Faith, she had gotten herself into this despicable situation with a sadistic man.

It was always in her nightmares that she could feel him. Feel him watching her helpless form, getting closer to her hiding spot. The creaking of the old room, his voice in the distance—for a moment, it all stopped. Buffy gathered her strength and stood. She looked down and noticed she was fully clothed again. She decided, in that instance, to run.

Bolting down the dark staircase, Buffy tore away from the treacherous man's presence. She saw his form at the top of the staircase. She ran into a new room, one she had never seen before. Tripping over a rug, she stumbled, landing off balance and hitting the cold hardwood.

She turned around, facing his silhouetted figure. He slowly stepped into the light, walking towards her and out of the shadows. Buffy expected to see his sadistic face smirking down on her as he inched closer—

"Buffy!"

Opening her eyes, she found herself in Angel's hold. She sighed and smiled weaky. "You're home."

"I just walked in," Angel said, slowly taking his hands off of Buffy's shoulders. "You were throwing a fit in your sleep, again."

Buffy looked down at her book, which had fallen on the floor. Her nightmares had done more than simply wake up the family during late hours, but disrupted the peace of the house. She hated to do undo the comforting silence, even if it was an unconscious effort.

"Buffy." She loved the way her name sounded on his tongue. "Sooner or later, you're going to have to tell someone about these nightmares."

"They're not nightmares," Buffy argued limply, trying to sound brave. "Just…really bad dreams."

Angel gave her a sad smile…the same smile Buffy had learned to love. "Right. Even still, if you want to tell someone about it…" Angel wandered off, looking away from Buffy's face. "I'm here. Faith is, too. We just want to help."

"I'm alright," Buffy said softly. "I…I think I'll be able to tell you, soon. When I'm ready."

Angel's eyes reflected his understanding. Both he and Buffy stood up and he offered her a hug. She accepted, feeling safe in his arms; safe from the past and anything looming in their future. When they pulled away from the embrace, Buffy looked up at her older brother. They shared a moment of silence, each watching the other, before Angel chuckled and patted Buffy on the head. They exchanged good-night's. Angel walked up the stairs to his room as Buffy looked on.

_Was that my imagination_, Buffy thought as she picked up her book off the floor, _or was Angel ready to kiss me?_


	2. School & Friends

The weekend flew by quickly. During the entire summer, Buffy worried about the first day of school but found comfort with Faith. The two sisters attended Sunnydale High. Angel—along with Spike—went to the local college, UC Sunnydale.

Angel drove both Faith and Buffy on the first day of their classes. Buffy was lucky enough to nab the passenger seat. Faith sat in the back of Angel's convertible but constantly leaned in between Buffy and Angel.

She tried to get her hands on the radio. Angel playfully smacked her fingers away from the buttons.

"C'mon Angel! Lemme get my tunes!"

"Faith, I said no! I'm doing you a favor by driving you to school. And this is my car—"

"Aw, cut the crap," Faith yelled over the music and the wind. Buffy smiled. "Ladies first, right Mr. Gentleman?"

"You wouldn't know," snickered Angel. "Now sit back and let me drive."

Faith gave up with a sigh. She leaned back into her seat, allowing some breathing room for Buffy and Angel.

The siblings pulled into the Sunnydale High parking lot. Before Angel had a chance to stop the car, Faith was already leaping over the door. He scowled. Buffy laughed.

"Faith's already blending in with the crowd," Angel observed. "Think you can find your way to the office?"

Buffy smiled. "I think I can manage." She shifted her backpack over her shoulder and exited Angel's vehicle. "Thanks again for the ride. Have fun in class."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Fun? In class?"

The two shared a laugh. Buffy waved goodbye as he sped away. "Now," she muttered to herself as she turned around, facing the school. "Time to find the office."

She walked through the swarm of high school students, anxious to start her senior year at a new high school. Buffy passed a shaded area next to the gym, and caught sight of Angel's friends. Xander, Willow, and Cordelia were sitting under a tree. All three of them were seniors, as well. Buffy inhaled deeply and walked over to the group.

Willow waved as Buffy approached. "Buffy, right?"

The blonde nodded. "Willow?"

"Double right," laughed Willow.

Xander jumped up from his sitting position under the tree. "I'd like to just clarify that two rights, unlike two wrongs, equal one-hundred and eighty degrees."

Buffy looked to Willow, who was rolling her eyes. The rest of the group simply stared. "And how does that make the least kind of sense?" Cordelia asked.

Xander cleared his throat in a performance-like quality. "You turn right—" he stuck out his right arm and turned right, "—and turn right again—" he turned right again, "and you end up completely turned around from where you started!"

Buffy laughed in spite of herself and Xander took a bow. Cordelia rolled her eyes and flicked her lengthy brown hair. "Takes a screwball to laugh with one, I guess," Cordelia said. Buffy and Willow shared a look. "I mean, what kind of name is Buffy, anyway?"

Briefly, Buffy wondered why two fun people like Xander and Willow took the time to hang out with Cordelia. Maybe it was because they were friends with Angel and Spike—two guys Buffy could definitely see Cordelia going for.

"Obviously it's a rare yet easy name to remember, _Cordelia_," Buffy answered with a smirk. "Or maybe, unlike you, it's my budding charm and wit that helps you attach my name to my face."

Willow and Xander poorly held in their laughter. Cordelia was left awkwardly standing in front of Buffy. She groaned and walked off. _Probably in search for some new plastic friends_, Buffy thought to herself.

"So," Xander said as he swung his arms around both Willow and Buffy's shoulders. "Angel and Faith. Spill the deets, Buffy. What's it like living with the two of those knuckleheads?"

"Faith is really headstrong," Buffy reflected. "And a lot of fun to be around."

"And Angel?" Willow prodded.

Buffy grinned in response. "He's great. A really awesome guy to be around."

"You know," Xander pipped, "if I didn't know better, it would sound like you guys have the hots for each other."

Buffy blushed. "I do not!"

Willow gently poked Xander in the side. "Don't listen to him, Buffy. Just because this guy is always horny doesn't mean _all _guys are."

"Hey!" Xander mockingly shouted. "I resent that!"

"We're brother and sister, anyway," Buffy grumbled.

"_Foster_," Willow emphasized.

"I guess we're allowed to think of each other in that way…but it would be too weird. Right?"

"It is kind of hard not to stare."

"Xander!" both Buffy and Willow exclaimed. He smiled sheepishly in response.

**x.x.x**

When her last class was over, Buffy escaped from the halls and found herself outside. She found Xander and Willow walking in her direction. She waved in recognition and headed towards them.

"So, verdict on Sunnydale High?" Xander asked.

"Not bad for a first day," Buffy said with a grin. She put on her sunglasses and looked around. "Where does Faith usually go after class?"

"You mean when she's not ditching?" Willow murmured.

Buffy hadn't seen Faith since lunch. It turned out that Faith hung with a different crowd than Buffy—different age levels, different clothes, different attitudes, different everything. "I'm supposed to meet Faith and Angel somewhere after school," she mused allowed. "Just can't remember where."

"Just try back at the tree," Willow offered. "That's always been the general meeting spot."

Buffy said goodbye to Willow and Xander and made her way to the infamous tree. She stood underneath it in the shade, and watched as the wind ruffled through the leaves. It was only the beginning of September, but already a few of the leaves had started to fall and turn an off-color brown.

"Hey, B!"

Buffy turned around and saw Faith. She had taken off her jacket and was proudly walking with a tube-top on, midriff exposed and all. Buffy raised her eyebrows and grinned. "You weren't wearing that this morning."

"Hell yeah I was," Faith answered. "Just kept it covered so big bro didn't find out." With that, Faith slipped back into her jacket just as Angel pulled up in his convertible. Buffy noticed, in quiet annoyance, that Spike was sitting in the front seat. Angel put the car in neutral and left the gas running. It looked to Buffy like he and Spike were having an argument, but it was clear to even the common observer that there was some kind of deep-rooted friendship between the two.

"Hey Spike," Faith interrupted. Spike glanced over at the younger girl and saluted lazily. He took out a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

"You know the rules," Angel said. Spike groaned and hopped out of the car. He put an unlit cigarette in his mouth, letting it hang low—_the complete bad-boy image_, Buffy thought to herself with a smirk.

Faith looked from Spike to her brother. "I'm going to go with Spike," she said. "Be home in a few hours, maybe?"

Buffy was surprised to hear over-protective Angel's answer. "Sure. Be back before dawn."

Spike lit his cigarette and blew a puff of smoke out. Buffy coughed and waved her hands in her face. "Hey, watch it!"

"Not like a puff of smoke would kill you," Spike drawled.

"Actually, it would," Buffy countered. "It's called second-hand smoke. Look it up."

He blew another puff of smoke out, this time through his nostrils. "Best teach this one some manners, then, mate," he yelled to Angel. "Just like a mule, that one is—"

"Are you calling me an ass?" Buffy asked incredulously. Despite her small stature, she took a threatening step towards the peroxide blond.

Spike looked bored. "If you want to take it that way, fine, but—"

"So you _were_ calling Buffy an ass?" Angel said, his arms crossed over his chest. He raised an eyebrow at one of his oldest friends. Spike looked back at Angel with wide eyes before throwing his hands up.

"Whatever," Spike grumbled. "You just want to be her knight in bloody armor?"

"Spike, if you're gonna start something, just leave B out of it," Faith mediated.

"_Leave_ is exactly what I'm going to do!" Spike turned on his heels and angrily walked away from the siblings. Faith looked from Angel to Buffy and waved with an apologetic smile.

"At least I can listen to my radio station," Angel mumbled to no one in particular as Buffy got into the car.


	3. Car Rides & Skies

The two foster siblings sat in silence. Buffy was unsure if he was mad or relieved or what. _Angel is so hard to read_, Buffy thought to herself. _Kind of like _him_—_

"Buffy?"

She blinked and looked in his direction. He was focusing on driving, but had a contemplative look on his face. _The mysterious Angel._

Squirming in her seat, she said, "I'm sorry if I made things a little rough between you and Spike." She looked down at her hands as Angel neared a stop sign. "I didn't think that—"

"Buffy," Angel said, a charming laugh threatening to surface. She loved the way he said her name. It made her melt back into her seat. His voice wrapped her name up not like a plain or average everyday saying; it was something that made her spine tingle. "Spike and me, we're always fighting. It's no big." He glanced at her once before looking back to the road. "It's our thing, I guess."

Buffy sighed. "That's good, 'cos from my perspective, you two could have fooled anyone. It looked like you were actually mad at each other."

"I'm sure we were mad at each other," Angel said. "Or at least, I was."

"Why?" Buffy accidentally blurted out. She instantly felt like taking it back.

Angel paused for a moment before answering. She could tell he was thinking about how to word his answer, so she waited patiently as the car ride continued. At the next red light, his body turned slightly toward her. He looked into her eyes solemnly.

_Oh, God. His eyes…_

"Buffy," Angel started. "I was mad because I care about you."

_Angel's eyes. _His_ eyes. They're one and the same. The man of my dreams…and the man from my past, from my nightmares._

"I know you've only been with us for a few months, now…"

Angel's voice drifted over her as she continued to think. _No. Angel has comforting eyes. _He_, the man from my past, has a liar's stare. It's not the same. _They're_ not the same._

"…I feel as though we've known each other our whole life. I just have this desire to keep you safe," Angel continued. "I don't know much about your experiences before coming to our family—"

"Trust me," Buffy grumbled. "You don't wanna know."

The light turned green and before Buffy knew it, Angel turned away from her and focused once again on the streets before them.

"I know I haven't exactly…opened up with my life before you guys," Buffy said, her voice stumbling. "But I really do feel welcomed with your mother & father, & with you and Faith."

She looked back at his deep golden-brown eyes. He pulled into their driveway. "You mean _our_ mother and father."

Buffy grinned as he turned the keys and let the engine die down. The pair remained seated in the car for a little while longer, even though they were home.

"Right," Buffy answered, looking away from Angel. "It's hard, though, calling someone else 'mom' or 'dad' or 'sister.' Even 'brother.' I don't see you as my brother, Angel." She glanced back at him to catch his reaction, unsurprised when he didn't reveal one. "I guess…I guess I see you as something much more than just my foster brother."

"That's how I see you too, Buffy," he responded in a quiet and deep voice. No one was around, but still his voice was barely above a whisper. "I mean, you're this great girl who steps into my life—our life—and listens to my complaints, my excitement, my fears...everything. I just want it to be the same for you, too."

Buffy looked down to hide her slight disappointment. _Maybe I'm not hinting hard enough_, she thought. "Thanks, Angel. I…I really appreciate it." Soon, she was whispering, too. The pair had developed an intimate space over the summer which could translate anywhere: inside a car, a house, among friends. "You know," Buffy continued, "it was a Monday when I first met you. When I saw you, I was kind of hoping you weren't part of the family I was ready to, uh, move in with."

Confusion spread across his face quickly. "Why not—" He stopped himself instantly and chuckled, looking down at the keys in his hands. Buffy could have sworn he was embarrassed, even if he wasn't blushing. She knew she was probably as red as a tomato.

Silence surrounded the couple. Buffy was too afraid to look up at his face, not sure if she wanted to gauge his reaction. She wondered what he was thinking, after her confession.

It was strange how they could jump from one subject to the next without any hint of awkwardness. Angel mentioned something about his physics professor and instantly the mood shifted. Buffy found herself enjoying—as usual—Angel's company. She laughed, listened and shared fun stories as time passed without either of them noticing.

"It's getting pretty dark," Angel noted. Their seats were leaning back and both he and Buffy were laying down. He made a motion to press a button at the top of the car.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"Putting the top up."

She reached for his arm and brought it back down. "Don't," she said.

"Why not?"

"The stars should be out in a bit, right? Let's just wait for them to come out."

"Don't you have homework to do?"

"Don't _you_ have homework to do?"

Angel laughed and settled back into his seat. "Touché."

Sure enough, the sky began to visibly darken. Angel noticed Buffy shiver. He gently put his arms around her and she relaxed, enjoying her head against his chest. She could feel his heart beat, his breath. She stared off into the sky, content for the moment, and watching the stars come out of their hiding places.

"Look at that," Angel murmured. She grinned at the vibrations coming from his chest. Buffy looked to what Angel was pointing at: a shooting scar, traveling carefully enough for the two to see.

"It's beautiful," she said, almost trance-like.

The star began to roam behind a thick group of trees. Exchanging glances, both Buffy and Angel got out of the car and sat on the convertible's hood. She was thankful for the better angle, especially since Angel was directly behind her and she was sitting between his spread-eagle legs.

"We should have thought of this hours ago," Angel laughed.

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Thought of what hours ago?" she said, a bit suspicious.

"Getting out of the car," Angel clarified. She relaxed and turned her body slightly around.

"Next time, we'll remember to think ahead," she said, mockingly serious.

"Sounds good. We always seem to forget that when we're having fun."

He leaned in and slowly began to fill the space between them. Buffy let her eyes close for a moment.

"Yeah, when we're lost in the emotion." The distance between their faces considerably lessened. _This is it!_ Buffy screamed in her head. _This is the night that Angel kisses me—like a girlfriend, and not like a sister!_ The tension between them heightened as his lips began to descend upon hers, barely touching—

—and suddenly, a bright light hit the two of them. Loud and obnoxious rock music got louder as the light grew brighter. Angel's lips brushed against hers as he pulled away. It was almost as if nothing happened. Buffy left her eyes closed for a few seconds longer, trying to bask in the moment before it was gone. She had been so close to tasting him, to feeling his essence—and then Spike of all people had to ruin it for her. She could tell it was Spike (and Faith, for that matter) because of the music.

As soon as Buffy opened her eyes, she say her sister waving at them from within the car. Angel had already hopped off the top and was making his way over to them. Buffy awkwardly sat up and stood between Angel and the house. Was he trying to act like nothing had happened? Or was he maybe afraid of someone finding out…just like Buffy was?

Angel pulled Faith into a hug and waved goodbye to Spike. Spike beeped before pulling into reverse and speeding off into the night. While Faith was busy watching him drive into the night, Angel turned back to Buffy and looked at her with apologetic, pleading eyes. Momentarily she lost herself inside his stare, but was brought back to reality by the massive situation obstructing their happiness.


	4. Angel & Faith

_He wouldn't take his eyes off her._

_Even when they handcuffed him, even when they drove away in that police car, he was still looking at her. Watching. There was no emotion in his face, no feeling radiating from his eyes. It was the apathetic glance of his that she remembers most on that day._

_They told her she would be safe. He was supposed to be in prison for a long time coming. Buffy knew his stare a little too well to be fooled by what the social workers and the police said._

_One day, he would come back. He would come back and reclaim his ownership over her someday soon, when she least expected him to—_

"Three day weekend, here I come!" Faith shouted. Her yell reverberated off the walls of the previously quiet house. Buffy woke up instantly, sitting up in her bed with a start and breathing deeply.

The memory—or rather, dream of a memory—about her former boyfriend lay fresh in her mind. She relived it so vividly only moments ago. With a sigh, Buffy pushed off her bed cover and rubbed her face, tired from the nightmare.

She had been freed from Angelus' clutches around a year before the agency found a home for her with Angel, Faith, and their busy parents. She had been in a relationship with Angelus when she was sixteen; he couldn't have been more than 20. He had been her boyfriend for only six months before he was arrested, but for Buffy, it had felt like the torture lasted a lifetime.

Buffy shook her hair and reached over for the glass of water on her nightstand. There was a reason she couldn't tell Angel about her nightmares, a reason she couldn't admit to anyone else—not even her self.

It was uncanny, the physical resemblance between the two. So uncanny, Buffy reflected, that there was no way it could be mere coincidence that they looked so alike.

She never thought about bringing it up with Angel. How would he react if he knew he had a twin wandering around the world, a twin who he had never met? Not only that, but Angelus wasn't exactly like Angel. Appearance was the only thing the two had in common. The man she had come to love, Angel, claimed the same eyes, same look, and (almost) the same name as the man she had come to fear: Angelus.

_But Angel isn't Angelus_, Buffy told herself as she wiped the sleep away from her eyes. _Angel doesn't need to tower in cruelty. He doesn't need to instill fear. Only Angelus needs that kind of torture._

She shook her head and tried not to think any more of her past. Buffy roamed out of her room and traveled down the hallway. With a yawn, she found herself at Angel's door. Downstairs, Faith stomped through the hall and exited out the front door to greet the autumn air.

Buffy had only been in Angel's room a handful of times. He wasn't exactly open to any kind of visitors in his sanctuary. After the incident (or rather, almost kiss as Buffy liked to call it) that one night, Angel and Buffy had a few more deep conversations amongst themselves while everyone else was asleep. It all lead up to a stronger friendship and, unfortunately for Buffy, nothing more. She sighed and straightened her pajamas. She had tried to push her desire for him out of her mind, but she couldn't. Perhaps it was because Angelus had twisted her so that she could not let go of this nagging feeling she carried for Angel. He often gave her conflicting signs; sometimes, it would seem like they were on the same vibe. Other times, Buffy could swear he wanted nothing more from her than a "just friends" title.

Gathering her strength, she knocked gently on his door and waited for an answer. She heard him murmur something and assumed it was safe for her to come in. He was shirtless; the bottom half of his body was covered by his bed sheets. His eyes were half-open until he recognized Buffy's figure. Then he gave a slight smile before frowning and touching his hair.

"I'm not a morning person," he explained.

Buffy laughed and pointed at her own mess of hair. "Neither am I."

He sat upright in bed, resting on his pillow. Buffy noticed the bed sheets slide down his groin a few more inches, uncovering bare skin. She looked up at Angel's face nervously, hoping she didn't stare too long. Then again, how could she help it if she did have feelings for this gorgeous, intelligent, sensitive, beautiful creature—

_Stop!_ Buffy scolded herself, trying to keep her attraction to Angel in check. _This is brother/sister territory. You've got to get a hold of yourself…for now, at least._

"Here," Angel said, moving to the side of his queen-sized bed so that Buffy could sit down next to him.

She cautiously rested on the bed and made sure to stay above the covers, just in case someone walked in on them. Closing her eyes, she inhaled his scent through both his bed sheets and the nearness of his body. He looked at her with such a strong sense of compassion that Buffy was tempted to wonder for a moment if maybe he felt the same way she did.

"Was it another dream?" he asked tentatively.

Buffy gave a weak nod. "Kinda."

"How did you feel about it when you woke up?"

"I felt…" She wasn't sure how she felt. Besides, she wasn't just thinking of the dream when he asked her. "I felt scared. N-not only scared I mean, but more freaked out I guess." She sighed. "I don't know. It doesn't really make sense."

"Doesn't have to," Angel murmured. He put his arm around her shoulder. She looked into his eyes and, as usual, she felt a calmness around her. She felt safe. All of her worries and fears melted away in his embrace, freeing her soul. Without thinking, Buffy closed her eyes and rested her head on to Angel's shoulders. Within a few minutes of silence and nothing but his fingertips stroking her blonde hair, she found herself relaxed in his arms. She was happy.

"Hey guys!" Faith yelled. Buffy opened her eyes as Faith's footsteps got closer and closer. She sat up in Angel's bed just as Faith came barging into Angel's room, shoes and all.

"Guess what's happening outside—"

Faith stopped mid-sentence, taking in the display before her. Angel didn't bother taking his arm off of Buffy's shoulder, but Buffy coughed awkwardly. It was easy for Faith to jump to her own conclusions.

"Were you guys just doing what I think you were doing?"

"If you were thinking I was try to comfort Buffy after a rough dream, then yes," Angel spoke as he stood up. "We were definitely doing what you thought we were doing."

Buffy didn't dare look back at Angel. She felt a sense of shame creep across her face. It was painfully similar to the type of shame Angelus instilled in her when they were together.

Angel was like forbidden fruit. There was a rule, somewhere, which everyone knew but didn't bother speaking aloud: Buffy and Angel can never be together. Even if they're not blood related, someone decided long ago that the pair could not be romantically involved—_without it getting weird, of course,_ Buffy thought to herself sarcastically.

"I've…gotta go," Buffy stammered out of nervousness. "I need to, uh…eat. Something."

She rushed out of the room without looking back. Her face was blushed, partly in shame and partly in desire. It was hard to keep her hormones in check when she was around Angel…especially a half-naked Angel. Her imagination went wild for a moment and she tried to block out all the images in her head as she headed downstairs. Briefly, she wondered if Angel had slept with anyone.

Jolted out of her thoughts, Buffy looked up at the ceiling as Angel's voice sounded off the walls. "Why'd you do that?"

Faith stubbornly talked back. Neither of them thought to close the door. "How was I supposed to know?"

"You could have knocked, like a normal person."

"Would that have helped?"

Buffy imagined Angel rolling his eyes. "Yes!" She could practically hear him trying to calm down. "Look. I'm trying to get Buffy to see that we're her family. People she can depend on. Eventually see herself as someone we can depend on."

"Okay, I admit, maybe I got the wrong signals." Buffy listened to footsteps across the room above her. A drawer or a closet opened and closed. "Maybe this will make everything clearer for all of us."

Buffy smirked. Faith must have threw him a shirt. She heard Faith's footsteps once more trailing down the flight of stairs. Buffy opened the refrigerator and took out a carton of soy milk.

Faith offered her a smile and grabbed a cereal box off the counter. She plopped down on the kitchen stool and proceeded to stick her hands in the box, eating whatever came up.

"Maybe we could all head to the Bronze later tonight."

Both Buffy and Faith were shocked. Buffy didn't know where that came from, but part of her was glad she blurted it out. Angel chose that instant to walk into the kitchen, with long-sleeved shirt and sweats on.

"You feel like going to the Bronze?" Angel echoed.

"Why not?" Buffy questioned. "I've only been there once. Might as well check it out before school starts back up, again."

"Good plan, B," Faith said encouragingly. "I'll go text Spike and Willow and Xand, see if they want to come."

Faith took out her cell and spun in her seat while texting. Angel laughed and took the cereal box Faith was eating out of. Buffy looked on with a smile.

**x.x.x**

Buffy and Faith came downstairs at the same time. Angel was patiently waiting in his car for the girls. Both siblings exchanged compliments on the other's attire before heading outside.

Angel looked up from inside his car. "You guys look—"

"Hot? We know," Faith answered nonchalantly with a wink. Buffy tucked her hair behind her ear, shyly. The sisters hopped into Angel's car just as he started the engine.

"Faith, you better pull up your shirt if you don't want to land someone in jail," Angel said in mock seriousness. Buffy held in a giggle.

"For what?" Faith exclaimed with a grin.

"Well, there's the thousands of guys who are going to get into way too much trouble for catching jailbait tonight," Angel explained, "and then there's the guy who's going to kill them all. Me."

Angel backed out of the driveway and drove to the Bronze. In the backseat, Buffy let her hair down and embraced the wind against her face. Faith pounded the side of the car door a few times and howled into the night. Buffy watched with a smile as Angel playfully nudged his sister as they drove.


	5. Chapter 5

Summary:

Buffy goes to Angel to talk about her dreams of Angelus, but Faith breaks in and thinks things between her siblings are going a little out of hand

The three go to the Bronze after Buffy apologizes for being a wet blanket

* * *

Several minutes later, all three of them strolled into the club, the Bronze. Faith spotted Xander and Spike sitting at a table talking to a blonde none of them knew. Buffy remembered the first time she met the duo -- embarrassing to the extreme. Not only was she considered Angel's "hot date", but the entire situation turned awkward when Angel came to join them.

As they walked over, Xander was the first to spot them -- or rather, he was the first to spot Buffy in a new light. Spike was caught up with trying to get the blonde stranger that he didn't notice when Xander left or when he hosted the three relatives to a new table.

"Hey," Xander said, attempting to sound suave. Faith had walked over with Spike but Buffy and Angel stayed together. Xander looked Buffy up and down before saying, "my, my, how the night shows hope for me after all."

Before Buffy could say anything, Angel stepped in front of her and put his arms across his chest. Looking down at Xander, he said, "anything else you would like to add?"

"Nothing, except you always ruin my fun."

"And I guess you'd also blame me for your pansy-assed existence?"

Buffy watched as the two traded insults as they all sat down. It was funny -- Angel, Xander and Spike could say the meanest things to each other and still be friends. She figured it was more or less a guy thing to trade insults.

After a few drinks, Buffy spoke up. Her eyes were lit and she was ready to have some fun. "So do you guys want to dance or what?" She took Xander and Angel by surprise by grabbing their wrists. She led them out onto the dance floor, where the live band mixed some amazing dance beats.

Once she started dancing, the whole world seemed to melt apart. Buffy could feel the music gazing at every inch of her body, down in her toes to up in her head. She moved with an ease she didn't know she had, closing her eyes and living inside of the vibrations the band produced for the dancing teenagers around her. She didn't have to worry about Angel, or her emotions, or his emotions for that matter -- and that kept her at a strange sort of peace.

Buffy was so in tune with the music that she didn't notice Angel or his stare. He watched her intently as he himself started dancing and noticed her spontaneous side coming out.

Xander noticed Angel as he watched Buffy, and he inched close enough to Angel so that only they could hear.

"Looks like someone wants to get a little incest action, if you know what I mean."

Angel shot Xander a cold stare. "Maybe you could say that a little louder so my fist can hear."

Xander threw up his hands in mock defense. "Hey, I calls 'em as I sees 'em." With that said, he made his way away from Angel's cold stare and tried to make as much space as possible between them. He knew Angel was an all-around good guy, but when you put him in the mood he could be a completely aggressive and different person.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked to Angel. "Where'd Xander go?"

"He left."

"Well then I guess that just leaves you and me," she said playfully. She took his hands and guided them slowly to her hips, watching his face for any type of disagreement.

"Buffy, I don't know about this," Angel admitted. He didn't take his hands off of her, though. "People might talk --"

"Let them talk, Angel," she answered, swaying to the beat in his arms. Finally, she was able to do something that was close enough to having Angel. "We're just looking for fun."

Angel groaned in disappointment but kept a strong grip on her. They moved to the music as he pulled her closer to him, inhaling her vanilla scent. After a while of dancing, he groaned again, this time in agony, closing his eyes and keeping Buffy at a safe distance.

"I can't do this Buffy." He opened his eyes and let go of her hips. "If only we --"

"Weren't legally related?" She filled in the blanks, obviously hurt.

"I was going with if only we met at a different time," Angel smiled sadly. "But yours sounds good, too."

Buffy stopped dancing and walked away from the music and the crowd. She heard Angel call out her name, but she was too depressed about their "situation" that she didn't pay much attention to it or the world around her -- if she did, she would have seen a vaguely familiar figure in the shadows of the club, watching her every move.

She headed towards the back exit of the Bronze, brushing past the familiar faces of Faith and Spike with her head down. Faith noticed her distress in an instant and stood up ready to go after her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Angel practically running after Buffy.

"What's wrong with Buffy?" she asked as Angel hastily walked by.

He waved a dismissing hand in response, shouting, "I'll take care of it!" over the music. Faith sat back down again after realizing her brother could take care of whatever was going on.

As he made his way through the crowd and out of the Bronze, Angel spotted Buffy walking quickly in an angry pace. "Buffy! Wait!"

She obviously wasn't in the mood for stopping. Not only had she embarrassed herself by exposing her need for him, but she realized the only thing he cared about was "what people said".

Angel rapidly jogged over to her, grabbing her shoulders softly at the same time facing her. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Buffy felt anger rise inside of her. Angel was so clueless to what was going on and what her feelings were for him. She thought he'd be able to catch on eventually -- him being a total heartthrob and all -- but he still had no idea what was going on with her.

"This is what's wrong with me!" Buffy looked so upset that all Angel wanted was to hold her until it was over, but he knew better. She angrily pointed a finger at herself and him, adding, "You and me, Angel. We're what's bothering me. It's not the nightmares anymore -- just this dysfunctional relationship or whatever that's between us!"

"Buffy, I know this is hard," Angel said calmly. "But we just have to get through this."

She looked at him like he was insane. "Is that all you can say?" she practically yelled. "All you can do is act in your mature an-and moral and calm voice. You always give me the sense that I'm the crazy one, and that I'm just the heart-struck teeny-bopper who feels this way --"

"Just listen, Buffy, I --"

"Don't interrupt!" Buffy yelled, tears forming in her eyes. She always wanted to tell Angel what she'd felt -- what she truly felt -- and now was her chance. "Y-you're always acting like you care for me in the 'something more than a sister' way, b-but when it comes to...other things, you brush me off like I'm nothing..."

With her last sentence, she began to cry. Sobs choked at her throat as her eyes drowned with tears she hardly ever cried. Even when Angel scooped her up into his arms, and even when he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, Buffy didn't seem to notice. All that mattered was that she finally said what had to be said, and an Angel was there to listen.

As both Angel and Buffy embraced in a comforting hug, neither of them realized the ragged form of Angelus watching from the shadows.

"Don't cry," Angelus murmured to no one, a smirk forming on the edges of his mouth. "It only makes the pain longer."

* * *

****

Thanks to: Lindsay (yeah, it's definitely going to be tough getting Angel and Buffy together…but isn't it always? J )

Kayleigh

Kelly (always glad to bring a spuffy into A/B world J hope you enjoy it !)

Oz (I took your suggestion ! Thanks !)

Tariq

Punc-angel (haha I love Angelus too…this is why he's going to be entering into the story J )

Andy kay (thank you ! And don't worry, I'm not trying to kill my readers -- just had some rough times but now I'm back !)

Biscuit (haha I'm glad you got into the story ! That would be waaay crazy if Angelus was somehow related to Angel…I guess we'll see ;) )

Trickster-jz (your bad feeling may be right :D )

Slayerchick33 (I hope I kind of answered why the meeting with Spike and Xander was embarrassing for her; I used your suggestion ! Thanks !)

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed !!! Sorry it took so long to get out…I moved, and summer school, and ah, "boy troubles"…it's been interesting. But I promise I'll have another chapter up in the next three days !


	6. Chapter 6

Summary:   
- Buffy and Angel get a little too close during the dancing   
- Both decide to go home and hopefully settle something…unaware of Angelus' presence

* * *

After a few minutes of comforting Buffy, Angel led her back to the car where she waited for him to find Faith. He made his way into the Bronze and found Faith dancing with Spike and Xander. Cutting in between the three with protest from both Xander and Spike, Angel pulled Faith over to the side.

"What's wrong, bro?" Faith asked, sensing something.

"It's nothing," Angel answered. "Just Buffy. I'm going to take her home. She's not feeling too well."

Faith nodded and looked at her brother. Something was definitely wrong and his face looked so depressed, or at least more depressed than usual. She decided not to make a big deal out of anything until everything was clearer. "I'll get a ride home from Spike. I'm sure he can --"

Xander and Spike interrupted, coming off of the dance floor. Spike took a close look at Angel before asking, "everything's alright, Peaches?"

Angel didn't seem to be bothered by Spike's nickname for him. In fact, he looked completely out of it. "Yeah...just take care of Faith, will you?" He walked out of the club once more as his friends and sister stared in confusion.

Inside of his car, both Angel and Buffy were silence. The two got home quickly. Everything was so tense, neither of them felt anything was wrong except for the situation they were already in. Buffy was a little teary but Angel seemed a little pissed off. As soon as they reached their house and got out of his car, Buffy asked if he was mad at her outburst.

"Because I could take it all back if you are," she babbled out of nervousness. "I mean it would spare some humiliation and --"

"Buffy."

She quieted down in an instant. That was the kind of power he had over her and he couldn't even notice.

"I'm not mad at you," he answered as they both walked into the empty house, leaving the door unlocked for Faith. He hesitated for a minute, but decided against locking it. "Just really upset about some...things."

They walked passed the living room and went into Angel's. Even though the house was empty, he closed the door on habit and sat on the chair across from Buffy, who was on his bed. With a sigh, he finally spoke.

"I guess I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to you on the first day I saw you," he said. "I knew right then and there that I had to stay away from you...or else I might lose control around you."

He smiled uncomfortably and looked into Buffy's eyes. She was paying close attention, just like she always did. "I guess you, uh, saw that a while ago when I lost control on the dance floor."

"You didn't lose control Angel," she said softly. "We had it covered."

"You're right. But what about the next time? I don't think you want --"

"What do you think I want?" she asked him. Buffy didn't say it in a bitter tone, but just one of question.

Angel shifted in his seat and hunched his back over to look at her more closely. The room was so quiet, he could hear a timid sound in her voice. "I was always under the impression that you needed...or wanted...someone to be there for you."

Buffy put her hands on Angel's knee and looked into his eyes. "I do, but now that you're here I can't help but want a little more."

They both smiled. "Well, we might as well test the limits now," Angel said.

With a goofy and confused smile on her face, Buffy chuckled. "What do mean?"

"I mean --" Angel started before standing up. "Am I too close?"

Buffy shook her head with a smile. He stepped forward and continued to until Buffy had to look up or his stomach -- _Oh, God, his finely toned stomach_ -- would be right in her face. With a giggle, she said, "Angel I don't think you'll ever be to close."

He smiled seductively. She didn't think she had ever seen him like this, but this change was definitely something she wanted hanging around. As he leaned forward, Buffy fell on her back on the bed. He hovered on top of her with both arms on either side of her body, enclosing her in his presence. "Now?"

Her reaction was another smile along with raised eyebrows. Angel took it as a no and leaned even closer as both of them laughed softly. With a seductive smile on his lips and his nose almost touching hers, he whispered in a mocking tone, "this is your final chance."

"I think," Buffy whispered. "I think I choose to accept."

Angel closed in slowly. Closing her eyes, she felt his lips touch hers and soon enough they collided. She left reality as his taste lingered on her mouth, his hands tangled in her hair. Desire lighted inside of her, penetrating the cold away from her body. All she could feel was him, and all she knew at the moment was him.

Shyly, Buffy let her lips open wider for him. He plunged into her mouth as soon as she let him, moaning with pleasure. She couldn't contain her want for him any longer. With a hand caressing his back, Buffy made her way to the front of his buttoned down cotton shirt. The kiss ended for a split second before Angel made his way into her once more. She took of his shirt with an urgency he had never seen before as they both breathed into one another's bodies. Both were helplessly lost in their own desire, knowing no reason or boundary to their passion.

A sudden wave of doubt washed over Angel. Buffy felt him slowly drag his mouth away from hers, ending the kiss hesitantly. She looked up, confused. "What is it?"

Angel shook his head, his voice slightly husky and low. "I have this feeling…" He slowly started making his way off of Buffy. "Maybe we shouldn't --"

Buffy grabbed his upper arm, pleading him with her wide eyes. "Angel. I've been waiting too long for this. I'm not going to give it up that easily." She reached up to him and kissed him once. "No one's here…"

Both Buffy and Angel basked in their intimate embrace, savoring the moment before it flew. Neither could hear the soft creak of the front door downstairs -- their love was enough to wash away reality itself.

Thanks to:

**mia twist** - :) Thanks ! I hope this chapter was satisfying !  
**Slayerchick33** - :D I'm happy that you provided the ideas in the first place...I'm trying to get readers to put their insight to the story since it's for their enjoyment, anyways! Thanks for the comments...I guess we'll see what happens ;)   
**Trickster-jz** - Thank you ! We'll see what happens next, then :)

* * *

(Please review !) 


	7. Chapter 7

Summary:

- Angel leaves with Buffy

- Both have a talk before…well, you know, getting "comfortable"

* * *

Neither Buffy nor Angel paid any attention to the time. After a passionate series of events, they lay exhausted but content in each others arms, with Buffy leaning her head against Angel's shoulder.

"Angel?"

"Hmm?" he answered, continuing to stroke her golden hair.

"I'm happy." She sighed. "That was…amazing."

Angel laughed. "I never get annoyed from hearing that." He closed his eyes, basking in her presence. Buffy closed hers as well, cuddling closer to Angel.

Suddenly, she begins to feel awkward. Opening her eyes, she looks to the doorway of Angel's room. Even though it's slightly creaked open, but not enough to reveal anything, Buffy sees someone. There he stands, the source of all her nightmares and the reason she could never feel safe before Angel came.

Angelus. His figure is darkened, but she can see the plain smirk on his face. His eyes are anything but visible, but she got a feeling they were angry.

She sits upright in Angels bed. Her eyes are wide, scanning the door with fear as she clutches onto the bed sheet covers for something stable. Her fear of him has returned, and no love could ever replace the fear and hatred that rests in her heart.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

She blinks; and then he's gone.

"I thought…I thought I saw something."

Angel gets up and wraps his arms around her. He looks towards the door, where nothing is there.

"It's nothing."

Buffy smiles and looks up at Angel. He can tell there's still some uncertainty in her eyes, but he doesn't try to argue with her. _It would only spoil the moment_, he thinks to himself.

In some ironic twist of fate, the phone ring. Angel inwardly cringes as he lets go of Buffy. He reaches over the counter-top of his drawer next to his bed and grabs the phone.

"Yeah?"

"Hey Angel, it's Faith," the voice on the other line replies. There's a short pause before Faith continues, "you sound kind of mad. Things with you and Buffy work out for the worse?"

Angel smiles. _If only you knew, Faith._ "I'd say Buffy and I did some…connecting." He looks towards Buffy with a mischievous grin on his features, Buffy blushing in return with a smile. "What did you call for?"

"In a nutshell, Spike and Xander are both drunk. I can't get home, unless I drive Spike's car but I'd have to park it in the driveway." There's a pause. "I was hoping you could move the car before I came in so there's no hassle."

"That's fine. You're dropping the boys off first, right?"

Faith hesitates. "About that…"

In the background, Angel can hear Spike yelling drunken words. "Faith?"

"Spike says he can't go home, and neither can Xander." There is silence for a split second before she continues. "They want to know if they can spend the night--"

"Faith!"

"I know, I know," Faith said. "They've got no where else to go, Angel."

Angel groaned, tilting his head back and closing his eyes in agony. Buffy put a reassuring hand on his shoulder as he continued to speak.

"Parental units won't be home until school starts…" Faith beckoned.

"Fine," Angel answers dejectedly. He looks at Buffy, offering some kind of silent sorry between their eyes. She seemed to understand although she had no clue of what was going on.

"Thanks, bro," Faith answered. "I'll be over in a few."

"And what about you're condition?" Angel asked protectively. "You're not…"

"Nah, didn't get enough of the buzz to not drive. I'm five by five--"

"I get it."

Angel hung up before Faith did. They hardly ever exchanged good byes on the phone; it was a silently kept tradition. After he put the phone back on the counter, Angel looked back to Buffy. She was beautiful in his eyes, cuddled underneath the sheets with nothing more than…well, nothing. Her curves were outlined through his thin sheets, causing a wash of overwhelming passion in his soul. And the best part was, he knew she felt the same.

"I love you, Buffy," he told her, lying down besides her. She smiled.

"I love you too, Angel." After a short pause she added, "and not just that brotherly love thing, either."

They both smiled, momentarily forgetting the world and soaking in their own love. Angel leaned in to kiss her on the lips as Buffy anticipated his actions. She broke off after a moment and looked up at Angel.

"What did Faith call about?"

Angel closed his eyes, forgetting about the small incident. "She's coming over in about five minutes," he said with eyes still closed. "With drunk Spike and Xander."

Buffy smiled. "That should be entertaining." Suddenly, the thought hit her like a giant migraine. "But, wait, what about us--"

"We still have a few minutes left," Angel beckoned, tracing a delicate pattern along Buffy's stomach as his head rested in his propped elbow.

"Angel…" she paused before answering him. She spoke her words slowly, trying to get the right message out in the open. "I don't know about his. I don't want to get us in trouble, especially you, and what would happen if they knew. If Faith found out and freaked," she sighed. "I wouldn't be able to bear it. I might get kicked out."

"Buffy." His voice was husk with emotion, and his eyes were intensely focused on her and her alone. "We'll work it out. We just have to keep quiet for a while."

Buffy snuggles closer into his arms, trying to relax. "No one will find out, in other words?"

Angel senses her denial, and instead of pointing both of them back to reality he lives in the dream as well. "I hope not."

Downstairs, Angelus made no sound at all. It was almost as if he didn't exist--the way he moved with such a delicate grace it scared those who knew him. But he always made an exit, no matter if it was fancy or simple, and all of his "opponents" knew when he was there, lurking. Always lurking, stalking, enjoying the torture before confrontation.

Of course, he wasn't stupid. Angelus had heard what Angel said--Angel, what a coincidence that turned out to be--and decided to leave. He never left without a gift, and Buffy would find hers soon enough. And as he stole an extra set of house-keys from the doorframe, he smiled to himself.

Once he was outside, he quickly walked into the shadows and avoided any type of attraction to his being. He put his hands in his pockets, smirking all the while.

"You can never run, Princess," he whispered to the night. "I know your every move, Buff."

* * *

I'm sorry this chapter is on the short side. Work and school have been getting to me lately, and hopefully I'll have more time to update. If you have any suggestions, don't hesitate to tell me ! Thanks :)


	8. Chapter 8

Summary:  
- Faith calls Angel and tells him that Xander and Spike will be spending the night  
- Our favorite couple contemplates their relationship  
- Angelus secretly visits without notice, leaving Buffy something special…

* * *

Buffy left Angel's room with high hopes for their relationship. Going downstairs, she realized that Angel and her had nothing to _really_ hide, since nothing had really happened to them until now. Now they were hiding something, and that meant that he cared for her as much as she cared for him, and not in the "brother-and-sisterly" way.

While going to the fridge, she was suddenly reminded of Angelus and Darla. The memory was so clear in her head…

* * *

_"What do you think about having a brother or sister, little one?" Darla asked an eight year old Buffy with mock happiness. "We had to get rid of the other one; Angelus had it with some girl. Left it on the doorstep and everything."_

_Buffy did not respond. She never responded verbally or physically when the pain came, and according to Angelus, that was a good thing._

_"That bastard," Young Angelus growled. "Now he was a problem once he reached a year. Or was it two? He did have a hint of the dark side, though." Angelus stared at Buffy in a way that made her want to shrink away. "She's the only one, Darla."_

_Darla pouted. "But I want more--"_

_Angelus interrupted Darla's speech with a quick swing of his arm, his backhand connecting with her face, sending her to the floor. Buffy watched in scared astonishment, moving away from Angelus. He noticed and cornered her, using his hands to force her to look at him._

_"Listen, and listen carefully, Buffy," he said harshly. Buffy noticed Darla groaning in the background, trying to hoist herself up. With a swift motion, Angelus came in closer and blocked Darla from her view, making her focus on him and him alone._

_The words that came next were whispered away from Darla. "You are mine, and mine alone. Darla has no sense of defiance; even as my own mother she comes to me when needed and I take from her as I please. You…you, on the other hand are something different." His hands slowly strayed from Buffy's face and down her body. "I can tell from such a young age--"_

_Buffy's eyes went wide. She kicked him in the leg with such a force it made him lose his balance, and with that she ran._

* * *

A hard knock on the door brought Buffy back into the real world. With a shake of her head (after calming herself down), she made her way to the door.

_Was that why he picked me_? she asked herself. _Where has my confidence gone?_

Opening the door, she met a tired Faith and quirky Xander and Spike. She moved out of the way as all three stumbled in.

"Ugh," Faith groaned, closing the door behind her. "You have no idea of what it's like raising two drunk "men" to their feet in an overly hormonal club." Buffy raised her eyebrows with a smile as Faith added, "and I hope you never have or never do!"

Xander took a seat on the couch, sprawling himself and taking all of the space. Spike wobbled over to him and pushed him aside before sitting next to him.

"Hey," Xander mumbled. He looked to the two girls, as if he barely noticed them. "Hey, have any of you guys seen my thing?"

"What?" Buffy asked. "What thing?"

"We wouldn't have seen your "thing" Xander," Faith smirked.

Spike played along. "Are you kidding me? His thing's so microscopic he can't even get it up, let alone find the damned thing--"

Faith laughed as Spike dodged Xander's playful swings. Buffy laughed innocently, not wanting to hurt Xander's feelings.

Angel came down stairs a few moments later, unnoticed by all except for Buffy. She glanced up at him, away from the group, and stared into his eyes. He stopped walking and looked at her, and at that moment Buffy felt everything melt away. Soon, Faith notices her older brother and walks over to greet him, giving him a hug without his shirt on. He hugs her back, looking over her shoulders and once more to Buffy before breaking away from Faith and walking into the kitchen.

The instant had passed, and a connection had been made between new--but quiet--lovers. That was all Buffy needed, and she felt completely happy and at ease.

"Faith, watch these two while I change," Buffy called out to Faith, who was curiously watching Angel in the kitchen.

"Oh! Oh! I wanna come--" Xander chided. He got out of his seat before Spike pulled him back down, saying loud enough for the whole house to hear, "Don't do that, kid. Angel will kill you, ya pansy."

Buffy quickly looked over to Angel who peaked behind the open fridge and shouted, "Shut up, Spike!" With a sigh, she realized the moment was truly gone.

As she walked up the stairs, Faith called her name over the drunken laughter of Spike and Xander.

"You're okay, B?" Faith asked.

Buffy smiled, thankful for her concern. "Yeah, five by five, right?"

Faith laughed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Always."

As Buffy turned to walk away, Faith called her once more. "Hey, not to be nosy or anything, but what did you do to Angel?"

Buffy's eyes grew wide in shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What?!"

With a laugh, Faith explained. "He never makes sandwiches at this hour unless he's somewhat happy. And that hasn't happened in a long time." She looked back downstairs. "Ah, forget I asked--never question a blessing, right?"

"R-r-ight," Buffy stuttered before walking upstairs and into her room.

She closed her door and breathed in a sigh of relief. The light flickered on as she turned on the switch, and as she looked on her bed, she gasped.

There was a beige envelope on her bed, a rather large and thick one, with her name carefully imprinted in beautiful calligraphy on the top. She sat on her bed and picked it up gently, surveying it with her eyes.

Buffy opened the envelope carefully. A neatly pressed flat rose tumbled out into her lap, one with black pedals instead of red; a real rarity. She picked up the rose carefully and stared at it, wondering where she had seen black roses before…it all seemed so familiar. Softly, she placed it on the side of her and next to her pillow and went back to the envelope.

Inside was a letter. Buffy took it out and opened it, eyes widening with every passing second. It wasn't a letter; it was a quick sketch of an eyeball which took up the entire paper and nothing more--or so it seemed. As she looked closely at it, she noticed there was two figures inside of the iris. She noticed they were in a bed, the male figure on top and the female on bottom. Suddenly, Buffy took in a sharp breath as the drunken laughter faded away. In the eye, in it's transparency, was herself and Angel only moments ago, both of their features standing out. She looked for any type of hint to who would have drawn such an intimate portrait--better yet, who was _watching_ such an intimate moment--but only found these words on the back: "I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all…I am part of God. - Emerson". Anxiety was written plainly across her face. Thousands of questions circulated through her: _Who did this? Why? When? How? Will they tell? Is this revenge? We were so careful; what happened?_

* * *

Author's Note: I am EXTREMELY sorry for the long wait/shortness :( I promise I'll make it up in the next chapter…

Thank you to all who have reviewed for this story, both NEW and OLD:

- All anonymous reviewers (Buff, James Lee, Charisma, Natalie Wrathall, Jane, Mia Twist, NJ, Biscuit, punc-angel, Oz, Kelly, Kayleigh, Lindsay, Xtreme2004, BuffynAngelforever, Juls07, Liz, Jaci and Emba)  
- Andy Kay  
- xXCrazyBeautifulXx  
- Skye-lark913  
- Danielle218  
- Mnkychick1823  
- Slayerchick33 (thank you so much for the suggestions of Angelus' gifts ;) )  
- Trickster-jz  
- Tariq  
- Steppy-1213  
- rubberband11  
- Charmed16  
- CookieDough1000  
- Claddagh Ring  
- Melodieeidolem  
- C'est Magnifique  
- Mione-Jane-Weasley


	9. Chapter 9

Summary:  
- Faith, Xander, and Spike arrive and Faith notices something different about Angel  
- Buffy opens her "gift" from an unknown (or not?) sender…a beautiful but creepy drawing of an eyeball and Angel and Buffy's night together

* * *

Buffy ran her hand through her hair, ignoring the blood that smeared on her forehead because of the rose prick. She walked around nervously in her room, glancing at the rose and the picture on the floor before abruptly turning away. Looking into the mirror, she saw herself anew: scared, panicked, and unsure of what to do next. 

_I should tell Angel. _

_No,_ she thought while shaking her head, once again fidgeting uneasily. _He doesn't need to know. It's too much of a burden, I don't want to put something this big on his shoulders. _

_You have to tell him sometime!_ her insides screamed at her. _He's officially part of this, you know! Whoever left this…this, message, obviously has some past with you--_

Buffy closed her eyes and grabbed hold of the drawer in front of her, gripping it until her knuckles turned white. Breathing steadily, she tried to focus. Just as she began collecting her thoughts, she heard a knock on her door which made her jump up in surprise.

"Buffy?" Angel called, slowly opening the door.

"Here," she answered, once again running her hand through her hair and staining it with red unnoticeably. Angel opened the door a little more and quietly came in. He looked at her and had an expression of confusion on his face.

"Buffy, what happened?" he asked as he quickly walked to her, carefully putting his hands on her shoulders.

"What?"

"There's…blood? On your forehead and your hair. It's only a little--"

Buffy's eyes shown of recognition. "Oh," she said sheepishly. "I accidentally cut--"

She closed her mouth quickly and her eyes went wide. "Uh, I was just going to go to sleep."

Angel looked a little hurt. "You're not going to spend the night downstairs with everyone else?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm kinda worn out. Crazy day, I mean."

He nodded in understanding, pulling her into a hug. She melted in his arms and embrace, wondering if he could feel the smile on her face. After he released her, Angel gently put his hands up to her hair and stroked a loose strand behind her ear. A few seconds after he bent down to kiss her, to which she happily complied with.

It was heaven all over again. Buffy lost her senses in his kiss and eagerly responded, but as soon as she regained composure, she broke away.

_I can't do this. _

_I can't get Angel into trouble._

Angel opened his eyes and stared into hers, once again slightly hurt. "Buffy?"

_Oh God, I don't want to hurt you, Angel…_

"Are you alright? Is it…" he hesitated. "…Is it me?"

Buffy fiercely shook her head, feeling tears welt up in her eyes. "No! God, Angel, it could never be you."

A smile came out of Angel's handsome features.

"I just need to think about some things, I guess."

Angel nodded again before exiting the room. "Remember, if you need anything, I'm right here."

Buffy pressed her lips together, forming a straight line. She nodded with sympathy, sad that she was leaving Angel confused and hurt but she desperately needed to think.

As Angel closed the door, she fell onto her bed and instantly fell asleep.

* * *

"Hey, where'd Blondie go?" Xander tiredly asked as Angel came down the stairs. 

"She's sleeping," he answered without giving even a glance at his two best friends and his younger sister.

Faith stared after him curiously. Something was definitely up between Buffy and Angel, and she wasn't quite sure what. She had felt it the first day they met, and all of the days after…she never could put her finger on it, though.

"Look guys, let's just go to sleep. I don't want to wake up Buffy," Angel started. He looked at Xander and Spike. "You two take my room. Neither of you touch my sister or else you die."

Both boys looked amused. "Aye aye, captain," Spike swaggered up the stairs with a drowsy Xander behind him. Faith looked at her brother once again more carefully, but found yet again a strange compassion.

Angel loved Buffy, and until she had come into his life, he was a wreck. Always brooding over something, never really getting too involved with anyone or anything. Faith was there for him to protect, but with Buffy, it wasn't as much as an obligation but more of…what?

With a sigh, he trekked up to his room, checking on a sleeping Buffy before getting his things and sleeping on the couch.

Buffy moved constantly in her sleep, restlessly stirring through her nightmare. It was another flashback, and for once, she was out in daylight, somewhat enjoying herself…

* * *

Little Buffy ran through the roses, skillfully dodging all thorns and flowers. She smiled to herself, happy that for once she was free.

The roses were a beautiful sight and a wonderful smell. Unlike her foster mother's garden, these flowers were lively and colorful, filling her with such an amazing energy she felt like she could live forever.

She felt a pair of eyes burning though her. Turning around slowly, she caught Angelus' creepy stare from afar. She didn't have to think twice before she ran into the arms of the loving elderly neighbor, Mrs. Callaway.

"Dear? What's wrong, dear?" Mrs. Callaway asked, turning off the water hose and discontinuing watering the garden.

Buffy didn't answer. She held on to the woman tighter and closed her eyes.

"Hello, Buffy."

She dared not to look at him.

"Buff…open your eyes."

She dared even more not to defy him.

Slowly, Buffy let go of Mrs. Callaway and looked up at the towering, dark figure of Angelus.

"Thank you for all the fun, Mrs. Callaway," he started, fake happiness in his voice, "but we really should be going, then."

She remembered the fear. She remembered looking up at the woman with pleading eyes: please, don't let him take me" they cried, but Mrs. Callaway could only watch in soft sympathy.

As they entered into their own backyard, him holding her little hand, Angelus stopped at Darla's roses. "You like roses, then?" he asked. Buffy nodded and looked towards the plants, black petals illuminating the dark secrets that lay within her and Angelus.

He placed his fingertips on the petals, softly at first. Suddenly, he grabbed the stem with all of his might, causing a red liquid to gush out and leak onto his arm and stain the pure earth. She looked at him with shocked eyes as he took her hand and pressed it against the thorns as well, causing her deep infliction.

She was ready to scream when Angelus covered her mouth with his clean hand. "Hold the pain inside."

She obeyed, knowing that if she didn't there would only be more pain to come. He made her clench harder, until the blood pricked her skin, and all the while she would not scream.

She would not beg.

She would not cry.

And that's what he had loved about her. That was the reason she would always be his.

* * *

Buffy woke up in a heavy sweat, sitting straight up in her bed and accidentally knocking over a book on her bed set behind her. It landed on the floor with a heavy "thud!", and even still, Buffy would not scream.

She knew who it was. She knew it was Angelus. He was out, and now was the time to truly be afraid. He told her once that she would learn to love the pain, love the hurt…just like he did, because that was what he tried to teach her as an older brother. Buffy had thought he never got the chance; he had been taken away after Darla's "mysterious" murder and Buffy's harsh treatment, containing Buffy for several years. That wasn't enough time to stir the darkness in someone.

…_Was it?_

Someone opened the door to her bedroom. She silently watched with anticipation before breathing a sigh of relief at Angel's presence. He looked taller in the dark, more omnipotent than ever.

"Angel," she whispered, compassion in her voice. "I'm sorry if I woke you with the noise. I just woke up from a nightmare…"

He closed the door quietly and turned back towards her in the darkened room. She can feel him watching her, and for once, it makes her slightly uncomfortable. Looking away, Buffy lays back down on her bed. Thinking Angel would join her, she closes her eyes and waits. Nothing happens; instantly she can feel something is wrong.

"Angel?" she whispers again? She shivers and looks at her window, noticing it open.

_When did I open the windows?_

A low growl erupts from the throat of the figure walking towards her; inhuman almost. She turns around and switches on a lamp on her bed set. "Angel, stop fooling around, would you--"As she looks at his face, she stops in mid-sentence. She's not looking at the Angel she thought she was talking to.

"Hello, lover."

* * *

Thank you:  
- lilsoccercutie55  
- D-daygirl  
- slayerchick33 ( :) ah, I love your stories, as well !)  
- James Lee (this one gets a bit darker…: ))  
- Buffy  
- Buff  
- melodieeidolem (another idea well appreciated ! : )) 


	10. Chapter 10

**  
IMPORTANT A/N: instead of Angelus being her foster father, I changed the entire background: Angelus was her older foster brother who often abused her…Darla was just their mother. He was a good nine or ten years** **older than her when he was arrested. All of the previous chapters have also been updated :)  
**

**

* * *

**

Summary:  
- Angel notices Buffy acting differently towards him and is extremely confused/hurt; but she only wants to protect him  
- Everyone heads to bed after an exciting night  
- Buffy has another nightmare/flashback of Angelus; this time involving child pain  
- Someone is in her room…

* * *

_No._

Her heartbeat sped.

_…no…_

Her blood ran cold.

-- _Nonononononono --_

And all the while he was there, enjoying everything and taking all of her emotions in. She could feel it…she felt his sadistic smirk--never a smile, always a smirk--and his soulless eyes. The light made things a bit clearer, but she already knew the type of games he played.

_This is not real, _she told herself. _This is not real. _

_It **can't** be real. It can't be real…_

But yet, here he was, free from his solitude and right in front of her. She could not deny it, and for once her eyes grew large with fear, with worry, with confusion…something she knew he loved. Buffy was speechless, but it didn't matter. He always knew what was on her mind.

"I know what you're wondering," he lazily drawled, silently walking over to her bed stand with his hands in his pocket. He looked into her eyes, never losing his control.

Buffy swallowed. _Should I scream? Should I yell? Should I try and fight? _

_You won't win,_ a voice inside of her warned. _You never won. Never. Not now, not ever._

She gripped her bed sheets tighter, a numb feeling coursed through her body. "H-how did you…?" she started, fear taking over her speech.

He filled in the blank. "Get out of jail?" Another beautiful yet devilish grin appeared on his features as he stopped at the foot of her bed, touching her blanket and barely missing her foot underneath it. Buffy brought her legs in closer to her, still clutching the bed sheets--she wanted to get away; he always had a way of sending her off in repulsiveness, intrigue and interest at the same time. Who knew if it had changed in the last few years.

_Angelus._

She looked at him closely and cautiously. He had certainly _physically_ changed. Now at least 25 years old, he was no longer…creepy looking and weak; but nonetheless still scary in his own special ways. He was built, that's for sure. His wardrobe had changed from white baggy t-shirts that hid away his skinny form to a more respectable, mysterious one: all black; black trench coat, black shirt, black pants…black everything. He had always maintained a cryptic air about him, but now…if Buffy hadn't known him better, she would have guessed Angelus was the all around good guy of the story; the average Joe. The beautiful demon--

_Control, Buffy. Control._

Angelus smirked at his former foster sister's confusion. It was beautiful to him. She was beautiful to him; always had been and always would be.

"Why are you here?"

Her voice echoed as a whisper throughout the room. A stunning tension circled in the air, choking Buffy of her confidence and Angelus of his sadistic nature.

"I would never leave you," he answered. Buffy looked down, unable to handle the power of his stare. It burned through her, making her feel hopeless yet understood at the same time. Everything about Angelus was a contradiction…beautifully insane, devilishly handsome, and carelessly obsessed, to say the least.

He moved closer to her--slowly, gradually, but nonetheless closer. She noticed and looked up at his face once more, daring herself not repent and not to submit.

_His eyes…oh, God, his eyes…_

She turned away, closing her own eyes, not wanting to look back. His voice stayed with her--always stayed with her; in a way it was as though he never left. Angel and Faith were the only ones who kept her on the ground.

Realization hit her hard. What was Angel and Faith doing? Were they ok? Was Xander and Spike still sleeping over? "You didn't do anything to them, did you…"

It wasn't a question. A threat lingered in the air, an edge in her voice. Angelus raised his eyebrows, unable to hide his surprise. "Someone's gotten feisty." He looked over to his drawing which was perched on the floor along with his rose. Picking it up, he stared at it as he sat on her bed.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with a certain _boy_, would it?" Angelus slowly turned to look at Buffy, furry evident in his glare.

She didn't answer. She didn't have to.

"I didn't do anything to your new little posse," he answered lazily, the anger subsiding. He placed the drawing back on the floor and looked at her with intent in his eyes, a yearning she could not quite put her finger on. "But I'm not making any promises."

"What do you want, Angelus?" Steadily her confidence was coming back to her. Buffy continued to regain her mental strength and looked him boldly in the eye. "You always come to me with a reason."

"I've guessed we both changed, then," he answered. "It isn't a reason. I've come to take you back."

She stared at him as though she misunderstood.

"You're mine to claim," he said, his husky voice slightly rising to it's normal tone. "And no one else's."

"You don't own me, Angelus," she said. "Not any more."

He snickered and eyed her carefully. Buffy noticed and said in a warning manner, "stay away from me."

Angelus did the complete opposite. Temptingly, he moved towards her by crawling on her bed. He was in such a close proximity that she had to lie down, to cower before him. "Finally," he whispered, "the submissive girl I once knew."

Buffy was furious. She was ready to strike him with her right hand but Angelus swiftly caught it in mid-air. He shook his head. "Wouldn't do that if I were you. Not with all of your…_friends_ over." Resignation showed on her face and he knew he hit home.

Angelus let go of her wrist and seductively moved the base of his fingertips along the skin of her face. She drew in a breath as he continued down her jaw line and to her neck, her collarbone, her chest…

Silence surrounded them for a moment before both heard a door downstairs opened.

Within seconds he was in front of her face once more, hands grasping her shoulders ruthlessly as he kept her pinned down to the bed. She gasped in surprise and shock, her eyes once again wide with fear. Angelus loosened his grip as both of them heard footsteps closing in. He stroked her hair back once, and leaned into her, close to her ear. Feeling her shiver with pleasure, he smiled.

"It's ironic, really," he murmured, his fingers tracing down her neck, her spine, her back. "You've haunted me for too long. And I know I've haunted you."

His lips brushed against her ear ever so slightly. She sighed in anticipation and slightly arched her back to get close to him.

"You can't escape me, Buff."

His voice…

His words were hypnotic. She closed her eyes drowsily, momentarily forgetting everything but Angelus.

"You'll come back to me, Buffy. I know you will."

Angelus slid his hand beneath Buffy's sleeping shirt, making her cry softly out in a strange mix of disgust and delight. His face merely inches away from her own, she felt him descend upon her lips in a rough fashion with a sense of passion she couldn't quite label. As quick as it started it ended and Angelus quietly rushed off of her bed as a knock was heard on her door.

"Buffy?" Angel's voice was familiar but all too far away. She was still drowning, caught in Angelus' enchanting voice. Angel opened the door, making it creak, just as Angelus plunged out the window and landed safely but soundlessly on the rooftop before hitting the ground.

And as Angel walked towards Buffy's vulnerable figure, she was utterly confused.

* * *

Thank you:  
- mia twist  
- D-daygirl  
- C'est Magnifique  
- monkish  
- James Lee  
- Slayerchick33 (once again, thanks for the suggestion! I'll be using it…threw in a little action there, but there's more to come)  
- buff  
- melodieeidolem (haha, thanks again!)  
- weasy (I tried to fix up the confusion ;))


	11. Chapter 11

__

note: sorry for the long wait…I haven't had any ideas in a while, plus school and blah blah blah…well, enjoy !

* * *

Summary:

- Angelus works his magic, scaring the hell out of Buffy (or _exciting_ the hell out of her?)

- he leaves her in confusion as Angel comes in; Angelus is still unknown to everyone

* * *

"Buffy? Are you awake?" He whispered to her so softly, with such love and compassion as he opened the door. Before Buffy even noticed, Angel caught a glimpse of something moving out the window. He turned on the lights in her room before rushing to her opened window.

"What the-"

"Angel, I can explain," she started, worry evident in her voice as she sensed Angel's anger growing. He could have sworn he saw some guy just leap from the second story window, but when he looked down there was no trace of anything. Angel looked back to Buffy, a confused look on his face.

She looked away from him, from his innocent gaze and wondered if it was finally time to set things right.

"There's a few things I need to share," she said, looking towards her bed where Angelus had sat. "And I think I should tell you a few things about me and my past."

* * *

Buffy waited in the kitchen for Angel to wake up Faith. Spike and Xander were going to be left out of the discussion not only because of their condition but because Buffy was still a little reluctant to trust the duo, despite what Angel had said about them.

She looked out the window and pulled her bathrobe over her because of the cold. Even with the hot cup of chocolate at 3:00 AM, she couldn't seem to get rid of the shivers that went down her spine every other minute when she thought of Angelus.

The name had brought fear and hate to a close tie. Before, it was easy; but that was before the loser grew up into a god, before the creepiness turned into a dark, mysterious delight…before Angelus knew what hormonal buttons to press, and quite literally, too. She let out a sigh and sipped some of her hot chocolate, trying to concentrate on the matters at hand.

And then there was Angel. She felt like she was ready to explode with all the confusion in her life. If only Angelus had never showed up, or if only Angel and herself had met at a different time, different place…different everything. Angel showed her compassion, a gentle something Buffy had not seen in a long time. But unlike Angel's actions, Angelus' were deliberate, meant to make her submit and hate herself for reacting.

Angel and Faith silently walked into the kitchen, both unsure how to act around Buffy. With their newest foster sister deep in thought, Faith carefully took a seat across from her at the table while Angel brought a chair close to Buffy.

He put his hand over hers. "Buffy," he said. She acknowledged him by slightly tightening her grip on his hand.

"I-I don't know…where to start," she said absently. Angel looked to Faith, both wearing a worried look on their faces. Buffy had never been this much of a shell before, even when she entered the family.

Faith sighed. "Alright. Let's try to figure this thing out, OK B?"

Buffy nodded and took another sip of her drink.

"How about we start from what just happened," Angel suggested as he caressed her hand.

She nodded again, trying to collect her confidence. "I was just visited b-by the man who creates my nightmares," she said plainly. She smiled bitterly at the memory. "Ironically, I just woke up from a nightmare…more like a flashback, really. I don't remember much, but when I woke up someone came into my room. I…I thought it was you, Angel," she said softly, glancing at him, "and I told you to stop playing around…but it was really Angelus."

"Angelus?" Faith said incredulously. "God, talk about coincidences."

Buffy grinned despite her mood. "I know. That's why…that's why I was kind of weary around you, Angel, if you couldn't guess."

"Buffy," he said, placing his fingers under her chin to lift her face up to his. "Look at me."

She looked up at him, at his soft face and unwavering compassionate eyes.

"I want you to know that I would never harm you on purpose," he said. The two momentarily forgot about Faith, forgot about everything as Angel continued making his vows. "I don't want you to be afraid of me just because of name-"

"It's not just that, Angel," Buffy said in a panicked tone. "Angelus and you have a very…similar look."

Faith glanced up. "Similar look?"

Buffy shifted under Faith's intense stare. "Yeah…you guys are like twins or something."

Angel stiffened at the remark, and Faith visibly narrowed her eyes. "You're sure about this, B?"

"How could I not be?"

"She's right," Angel said. To Buffy's despair, he let go of her hand before standing up and walking to the kitchen window.

Buffy continued talking after she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to recreate the comforts Angel had given to her moments before.

"Angelus is…not very nice," she started lamely. "H-he abused me, and his own mother. I think that he might have e-even killed her." As she told her story, her voice became stronger. "I don't think you want to know what he did, how he did…the things that he did. I wasn't always like this. I mean I used to be confident. Independent. Someone with an attitude."

Faith smiled. "I can imagine that."

"That was all before I met Angelus. He used to tell me…" she hesitated for a moment, looking back at Angel who stared at her intently. "He used to tell me that we belonged together. That my confidence matched his dominance." Buffy shifted under both stares. "I…I'm not sure what happened."

Angel remained vigil, staring more through Buffy than actually at her. Faith stood up from her seat and approached her new-found foster sister, stroking her gently on the back but looking worriedly at her older foster brother.

The lights in the kitchen seemed to dim as Buffy heard her own sobs, slow at first but crippling her speech completely. She closed her eyes and cried into her hands, Angel and Faith both trying to show her a warmth she needed so desperately to feel.

* * *

Angel showed a hesitant Buffy to his bed before tucking her in and promising to protect her. The whole ordeal sounded a little cheesy to Faith, but she figured it was more of Angel's "macho" attitude making it's way to the surface.

She turned to leave the room after realizing that Angel was going to sit by her until she fell asleep-which could have taken forever, Buffy being the insomniac that she was.

"Where are you going?" Angel asked, his eyes still on Buffy who looked at Faith.

"Time to check on my two boys, bro," she answered, closing the door behind her.

Buffy stirred and Angel looked back towards her. "Anything wrong?"

She smiled apologetically. "I really don't think I'll be going to sleep soon."

Angel grinned. As he stroke her brilliant and soft strands of hair, he replied, "we should do something to make you tired."

"I'm tired," she answered, not catching the meaning to his words. "Just not sleepy, if that makes sense."

"Anything I can do?"

She looked up at him. "Hold me?"

He licked his lips. "Always." With a swift motion he was underneath the covers with her, the two lovers wrapped in a friendly and beautiful embrace, where the only thing that mattered was themselves.

* * *

Thanks to:

- melodieeidolem

- fanficer lore

- maeve of the nile (you might be on to something… : ) )

- claddagh ring (exactly what I was trying to get away from : ) )

- jaysgrl (late but…thanks ! Merry Christmas to you as well : ) )

- cutleryismyfriend

- buff

- Stacey (I love angelus/buffy…but angel is just too sweet…gah, I'll let the readers decide : ) )

-d-daygirl

- slayerchick33

- james lee (not much of a cliff in this one ; ) )


	12. Chapter 12

Summary:  
- Buffy talks about Angelus with Faith and Angel  
- our favorite couple falls asleep in Angel's bed

* * *

School was back and Buffy was a wreck. Faith had promised not to tell Spike or Xander about Angelus, and Angel…well, Angel was Angel and didn't need to be asked.

_I think that's what I love about him,_ Buffy thought to herself as she doodled senseless drawings on her history notebook.

Love.

…Love?

Maybe.

Blinking, she glanced back at her notebook and discovered Angel's name written all over it, along with various other doodles she would rather leave unmentioned.

Willow leaned over Buffy's shoulder. Buffy blushed and closed her notebook before running a hand through her hair as the teacher talked. Willow laughed softly before getting back to taking notes. With a sigh, Buffy looked out of the classroom window and into the beautiful day.

It's just a matter of time before Angelus is back. She blinked and looked back at her notebook. _And this time, I'll be ready._

She blinked and looked back at her notebook. 

Buffy knew her memory could not be trusted. She might have remembered things that didn't happen, or mix the stories in her head together and form a complexly different story. Angelus was like that. He was there, inside her memory and her being, but then he was too hard to figure out. Too hard to piece together, and she was left unsure if he really was what she remembered or if he was just another figment of her imagination.

And then there was Angel. Beautiful Angel, who she knew was real and could touch or feel or kiss or

A soft sigh escaped her lips. Opening the notebook again, she began to write quickly the verses that seemed to appear out of no where, transforming the lines into poetry she would one day share with the world.

* * *

"Just when I think I'm getting used to the weekends," Xander muttered, rubbing his head as the bell to lunch rung. "School always ruins it." 

"I have to agree," Angel nodded, sneaking a glance at Buffy which didn't go unnoticed by Willow. She smiled thoughtfully as the group continued to talk.

"And I don't even remember half of what happened!" Xander threw up his hands dramatically, expressing his exasperation. He looked at Buffy with a half-smile. _No where as gorgeous as Angel's, though. Wait_

"You'll have to remind me what happened Buffster," he said. "All I remember is"

"Just let it slide, Xander," Angel said, a voice of warning in his throat.

Xander let the comment breeze over his head. "All I remember was talk about a man's thong"

"Xander"

Angel looked towards Willow pleadingly while Buffy threw stares of daggers in his direction. Instantly, the redhead grabbed Xander's shoulder and pulled him away from the group.

"I'll call you tonight, Buffy," she promised. "Bye Angel! Bye Buffy!"

"Wait," Xander said. "I didn't even finish!"

Once they left, Angel looked to Buffy. "Look, I'm sorry about"

"Angel, stop," she answered, a bit tiredly. "I can stand up for myself, you know. Just because I don't have a penis doesn't mean I'm weak"

He stared at her stupidly. "I didn't know it was like that"

"Just forget it," she snapped, clutching her history notebook to her chest. "Drop it."

She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her by the shoulder. Bringing her away from the busy cafeteria and into the empty halls, Angel stared into her eyes. Buffy's stare matched his, never faltering for once and leaving Angel slightly impressed at her new-found confidence.

"What's the matter, Buffy?" he asked. "You've been acting"

"It's nothing," she answered quickly, trying to get around him. Angel pinned her to the wall once more, making her drop her books. She looked up at him worriedly, even slightly annoyed. "Angel"

"No, Buffy. Ever since that…that guy was been in your room, you've been acting strange."

"Well you would too, if the monster from your head was trying to seduce you in your own house." She instantly regretted using the words "seduce" and "own house" in the same sentence. Unconsciously she flinched as Angel let go of her shoulders. His eyes were dark, almost black.

"That night," he said calmly, even eerily, "that night didn't mean anything to you, did it?"

Buffy stared at him in shock, anger registering in her features. "How…how can you say something like that to me?"

"You don't even know me, Buffy."

"And obviously you don't know me, Angel. Maybe," she hesitated for a split second, sadness evident in her eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't have tried it if this is how we truly feel."

Angel's eyes softened as Buffy's narrowed. "I…I didn't mean it like that." He pulled her into a hug as she heavily sighed into his embrace, misery taking over her.

"You should know better than anyone the affect Angelus has on me," she whispered into his shirt.

Angel shifted at the mention at Angelus. Buffy looked up at him, concern in her eyes. "What?"

Shaking it off, he answered cryptically, "just a bad vibe, I guess."

Buffy grinned. "Any ideas to get rid of it?"

* * *

Angel and Buffy walked into the Bronze later that night with their arms interlaced. Faith had disappeared to Spike's house for a while, understanding the connection Buffy had with Angel and even respecting it to a certain degreemuch to Angel's surprise. She left the two alone for a while, interrupting every so often when things got "too" comfortable for even her. 

Buffy spotted Willow and Oz at a table. She nudged Angel and pointed in their direction, walking towards the official couple.

"You made it!" Willow yelled over the music. "Now, you and me equals bathroom talk."

"Willow…"

"No! Resolved face," she said playfully.

With a slight smile, Buffy looked to Angel in a apologetic glance. He gave her his infamous half smile_yeah, definitely a lot better than Xander's_as Willow dragged her into the restroom.

Oz and Angel watched with entertained eyes. Soon enough, the pair settled into a comfortable silence both seniors could relate to.

"What's been going on with you and Angel?" Willow asked as soon as they entered. Buffy hopped up on the makeup counter as her legs swayed in a childish fashion.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked nonchalantly, hoping the guise would wear off on Willow, too.

"You know what I mean!" Willow practically shouted. "I've seen the way you two stare at each other, and your notebook, too…and with the heavy tension at times, and"

Buffy laughed. "OK, OK, I get it Wills," she said. "There's…" her confidence faltered for a moment. "There's definitely something between us," she said slowly, trying to get Willow to understand. "But if we…made something out of it, that would be bad."

"Bad…"

"Public wise? I mean we are brother and sister"

"Foster!"

"Yeah, but still, it wouldn't be right," Buffy concluded with a heavy sigh.

Buffy jumped off of the counter. Willow gave her a sympathetic smile, showing her support. "I think I see where you're coming from. But…but that's still not fair! And I may be a bit biased, but still."

The two shared a laugh before exiting the bathroom, not hearing a toilet flush in the background. Cordelia came out of the stalls and watched them leave, hearing everything. She smiled thoughtfully, realizing that now was the perfect chance to get Angel's attention on her.

Looking in the mirror, she applied some extra, unnecessary lipstick. "Finally, it's my turn to shine."

* * *

Willow and Oz left Buffy and Angel a little later on. Playfully, her new best friend had recommended the couch to her boyfriend and then they were gone. 

"Cute couple, huh?" Angel asked, noticing Buffy's grin as she watched the pair leave.

"Oh, definitely," Buffy answered. She looked at Angel, warmth from his eyes traveling to hers. "Couldn't have been better for the two sweetest people."

"Yeah," Angel mused. Changing the subject, he said, "Oz asked me to join his band just earlier."

Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? I didn't know you played anything."

He shifted in his seat, looking down at the drinks the boys had ordered for the girls. "I used to," he said quietly, just a few inches above the calm music streaming through the Bronze. "Before you came, I always played the bass."

"Why'd you stop?"

"It was nothing like Oz's talent," Angel confessed, somewhat easily. "Just another way to get away from here, from all of this insanity in my life. With you here though I didn't need to escape anymore. I just needed to be with you, and I still do."

Buffy looked up at him with grateful eyes, eyes that scanned through his soft brown ones with love shinning through her face. She slid into his perfect embrace, made especially for her and her alone.

"How was I never able to trust you," she murmured, resting her head on his chest. She breathed him in,his entire being and scent. He smelled like comfort, security. A unique Angel scent that would never melt away from her memory. It was attached to his clothes, his skin, his bed…and sometimes, even her.

"Buffy," he whispered gently. The way he said her name made her so fragile, like a beautiful porcelain doll that was only his to claim. His tone was so caressing, making her want to cry out for the love she could feel but desperately wanted to touch.

Tilting her head to meet his gaze, the room went dark as Buffy could only focus on the man holding her. _So close,_ she realized as they both slowly touched foreheads, eyes closed. Breathless, she moaned his name. "Angel, I"

"Angel!" someone yelled in the distance, snapping both of the "siblings" out of it. Buffy groaned before looking away from Angel and in the direction of the yell. Angel visibly stiffened when Buffy slid off of him and into her own seat.

"Cordelia," he answered as the brunette made her way over to the table. "What are you doing here?"

"We were supposed to meet here, remember?" Cordelia answered, swiftly sitting in the seat next to Angel. "Last weekend? Slip your mind?"

"I didn't know we were meeting you here"

"It wasn't a 'we'." Cordelia was smiling sweetly, but Buffy could tell the icy glare was reserved for her and her alone. "Dance with me?"

Angel looked hesitant. Turning his head towards Buffy, he glanced at her with pleading eyes. She seemed to know that he would stay with her if she wanted, but it wasn't quite in her nature to be selfish. Even with Angel. Love was something you couldn't just choke, you had to cradle it.

With a delicate smile at him, Buffy reached out for his hand. "Have fun."

Cordelia stood up instantly and dragged Angel away. Gazing back at Buffy, he pointed to her and then put his hand where his heart was, signaling his love.

* * *

**thanks to:**  
- Veronica haha, wouldn't leave you guys hanging if I had ideas or suggestions available :)  
- Anglusgurl1  
- Claddagh Ring  
- CathyD Angelus will definitely be making an apperance in the next chapter ;)  
- Blondiegrl  
- D-daygirl  
- buff  
- james lee  
- living2love  
- Regan  
- Aly  
- yummy0o0  
- lis  
- Fanficer Lore I guess we'll see why the two look so alike soon... ;) 


	13. Chapter 13

**AN** Somewhat R rating here… :grins sheepishly: Hey, you guys wanted it : ) Well, so did I…but that doesn't matter ! jk…I'm not sure if I should put the whole story under 'R' or just leave it 'PG-13'...any suggestions? Oh, and any ideas that come to mind (concerning Angelus' sick games, or Buffy/Angel's current situation) feel free to leave a review or email it to me. All credit will go to you ;) Thanks, and enjoy :)

* * *

Summary:  
- Buffy is falling even deeper for Angel  
- Willow and Buffy talk  
- Cordelia grabs Angel from a reluctant Buffy

* * *

The music was amazing, the lighting and décor just right, and yet, Buffy still felt miserable. Even though she had agreed somewhat hesitantly that Cordelia dancing with Angel was not a bad thing, it wasn't like she couldn't drag the image out of her mind. It got so bad that she had to literally face towards the bar instead of towards the dance floor, not being able to control herself.

_Major jealousy factor,_ she mused. _Something that can definitely kill._

Buffy looked down at her drink and saw only ice. She sighed and walked back in line for a refill, not noticing a newcomer's gaze through the shadows. Coming up to the counter, she smiled politely at the bartender and asked for another shot of pink lemonade, despite the man's humored grin at her under-age consent.

Suddenly, Buffy felt something wrong. She looked from side to side, not noticing anything peculiar and tried to shake off the feeling.

_All in the mind, kid._

She grabbed the drink and turned around, only to run into someone's broad chest.

"Sorry," she mumbled, highly embarrassed. "I wasn't looking "

She stopped short when she looked into his eyes. _His_ eyes. Regaining her composure and trying to suppress her surprise, she cleared her throat.

"Angelus," Buffy stated neutrally, attempting to hide her worry. _And furry, and, oh God...his leather pants..._

"Buffy," he replied lightheartedly, snapping her out of her thoughts. Her heartbeat sped up, penetrating through her entire body and making her very uncomfortable. She tried to step out of his way, only to be sidestepped once more.

He smirked at her uneasiness. "Still afraid of me, Buff?"

Swallowing, she answered, "not afraid. Just extremely, extremely annoyed."

Buffy pushed past him, only to face him once more as he spun her around.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "Watch the drink "

"I just want a dance," he said softly, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. "I'll leave you and your lover alone for the rest of the night."

Everything seemed to disappear momentarily. Then, shaking her head out of his grasp, she walked away, escaping from his hypnotic seduction by a close edge.

"Never in your life, Angelus."

Buffy heard a low growl. "Wouldn't want anything to happen to Lover Boy, would you?" Angelus scowled, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. Briefly, she glimpsed at the dance floor where Angel and Cordelia were dancing to an upbeat song. Angel looked back towards the table Buffy had sat at, only to be distracted by Cordelia once more.

_Oh, Angel…_

"You wouldn't," she answered carefully. Her words sped up, anxiety getting the best of her. "I mean, we're in a public place…" she said, more to herself rather than him for a means of reassurance, "and you're probably still being traced by the police, anyways, unless somehow "

He laughed; a laugh that would echo in her mind in a sick sense of terror. "Buffy, Buffy…Buff. Anyone ever tell you that you're cute when you babble?"

She smirked. "I've heard it a few times in bed, yeah."

Angelus' eyes darkened. A low, barely noticeable growl erupted in his throat. In a flash, Buffy found herself whisked away from the light and into the shadows of the club, where no one could see her.

_Perfect make-out session,_ she told herself with a bitter irony in her head.

"Angelus," she spat, clutching onto her drink tightly. "Get your goddamn hands off of me."

He chuckled but obeyed her wishes. "I guess the two of us have changed, then."

Buffy tried to move around him; tried to get back to Angel, who was currently searching everywhere for her. Angelus anticipated her moves and shot his arms out, leaning against the wall and trapping Buffy between him.

_Why doesn't this feel wrong?_

Angelus stared at her hungrily. He leaned in closer, causing Buffy to turn her head away. His breath was light on her neck, causing goose bumps to appear all over her body. It wasn't disgusting like before, when they were younger, but it wasn't comfortable, either. _Not like being in Angel's presence_.

"I know one thing that hasn't changed," he murmured, caressing the side of her face lightly with his fingers. He traced her jaw line down to her neck, causing her breathing to get rapid and her eyes to get heavy.

_How does he have this affect on me!_

"We've both missed this," Angelus whispered seductively as he leaned in closer. The grip on her drink lessened as she became even more relaxed. Buffy literally stopped breathing, waiting for his touch with eyes closed. His soft lips barely grazed across hers, making her moan in protest. Unconsciously, she grabbed one of his shoulders, trying to draw him near.

Angelus smirked and pulled away, leaving Buffy free to run. She didn't she couldn't and he knew it.

_Angelus, the things you do to me…_

"You owe me a dance, Buffy." He laughed softly at the desperate look on her face. "See, I don't do anything. It's all on you." Leaning into her once more, Buffy couldn't help but move closer. Her common sense was lost; all thoughts of reason had fleeted long ago. He gently brushed his fingertips against her thigh, helping her get even more lost in the moment. Without realizing it, her back arched in desire while her thigh rubbed against his touch, his leg, his groin.

Her eyes fluttered shut at his precious seduction. It didn't make a difference how he did it; they were here now, and that was all that mattered. She felt his lips melt against hers, no longer rough and cruel but soft and loving. She didn't recognize how much she was enjoying the kiss until it ended, leaving her breathless and full of caged craving.

"He can't give you this," Angelus said softly, licking his lips before leaving no space between the two. "Angel may have got to you first, but I'm the one who gets you hot and bothered." Buffy's eyes narrowed in response as she snapped out of her hypnotic state. Pushing him away from her, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, causing Angelus to grin as he exited the Bronze.

"That bastard," she whispered. Did she hate him for what he put her through years before? What he put her through now? Or was it because what he said was right?

_I love Angel,_ she told herself as she walked back into the lighted areas of the Bronze. There was no doubt where her love lay, but there was an insecure attitude on the affects both men had on her physically, mentally, and sexually.

"Buffy."

She looked up and saw Angel walking towards her. His tall frame towered above hers in a non-menacing way, worry evident on his face. "Where were you?"

She hesitated. "I "

_Should I tell him? _

…It's not like the relationship depends on it.

Besides, he'll understand later on…

…If I tell him later on.

"Bathroom break," she said rushed, forcing a smile. He could tell something was wrong hell, she could hear how badly her voice betrayed her but he didn't push it, and for that, she was thankful.

_And that's what I love about him,_ she realized before pulling him into a tight embrace. _That's why I love Angel._

"Pink lemonade?" she offered. He smiled in response.

"No thanks."

"Let's get out of here," Buffy asked more that stated, looking towards the exit door Angelus had left through only moments ago.

* * *

"It's always so quiet when we come in," Buffy whispered, even though she didn't need to.

Angel nodded and locked the door behind him. Buffy was already seated on the couch, reaching for the lights.

"I'll make some popcorn," Angel said before walking into the kitchen. Buffy sighed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't picture this as her home. She felt like a guest, not a member of the family.

_That's how it is with all of them,_ she mused. Something in her mind snapped at the thought.

_With Angelus, you were more than a guest,_ it whispered to her. _More than family, more than anything…_

She turned on the television to drown out her thoughts. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she hugged the nearest pillow and watched some cartoons. Even so, Buffy couldn't help but think of him the man who was supposed to stay locked up forever, with no way out. Briefly, she wondered how he got out. _Probably good behavior,_ she scoffed.

The noise of the popcorn popping brought her back to reality. "You like butter?" Angel called from the kitchen.

"Yes," she answered, turning off the television. Walking into the kitchen, she added, "please" before hopping up on the counter.

He poured the popcorn into a nearby bowl, thickening it with butter and placing it in between them. Buffy put a few pieces in her mouth. "So. Serious question."

"Shoot."

"What do you think about us?" she asked, looking at his face closely. He had taken off his jacket along with his buttoned down shirt, revealing only his white wife beater. _Why do they call it that, anyways? And why does he have to be so dangerously good looking all the time?_

Angel's eyes shot Buffy a pained look, only to be quickly dismissed by the shadows in his features. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," she answered softly. "Are we really that wrong for each other?"

He sat next to her on top of the counter. "We're not wrong for each other," he answered. "I don't think so."

"Then why does everyone think it's so weird," she questioned, agony plaguing her voice. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she continued. "I mean, we're not even brother and sister by blood."

"I know, Buffy," he murmured. "I don't think it's just that. What if someone caught us? What do you think they'd say?"

"That's just it!" she exclaimed. "I have no idea what they'd say; all I know is that this is wrong and we shouldn't…"

Tears began to gather up inside of her. She looked down at her hands, folded clumsily in her lap, and tried to prevent herself from crying.

Their voices went down in volume, just above a whisper. "I've been thinking," Angel said, putting an arm around Buffy's shoulders. "Maybe the only reason this seems wrong is because it's so right."

Buffy blinked back tears as he continued. "I mean, think about it. We live with each other, we're there whenever the other one needs it…it's like we're married almost, but something more than that."

"It makes sense," she sniffed. "But I don't know what to believe. Most of our friends give off the weird vibe between us, and Faith…oh, God, I don't want to be a burden or anything, she's the best sister I've ever had and "

The dam broke. Buffy clutched onto Angel for life, sobbing onto his white undershirt and crying all the tears she never thought she would. _After all of this…After Angelus, after all the rough foster homes…tears are spill over Angel._

"Why us?" she cried. "Why don't we get to be happy?"

Angel hugged her deeply and stroked her hair, whispering words of comfort to help her feel better. She did feel better after releasing her sorrows onto Angel, and once she had no more tears left to cry, Angel carried her into the living room where the couple remained in a comfortable silence.

_All that needed to be said was said,_ Buffy thought as she snuggled closer to Angel's form, resting her head on his shoulder. She relaxed in his arms and looked up at his face. He stared down at her with a reassuring smile. Bringing her hand behind the nape of his neck, Buffy tilted his head down to hers and kissed him softly at first, but gradually building up with more and more excitement.

"Buffy," Angel groaned in between kisses. "No self control…"

He didn't stop, and neither did she.

"I can't…we shouldn't "

"Just kiss me," she whispered. The two lover's eyes were flared with an undeniable passion neither one could ignore. Still kissing her, Angel lifted Buffy into his arms and carried her to his room.

"Why yours?" Buffy panted once she was placed on the bed.

"Faith is right next to yours," Angel explained as his eyes never left hers, slipping off her top as she grabbed his pants. Both realized Faith would be home any minute, making things even harder for the couple. "Plus," he added, towering over Buffy's form on the bed, "I want to be able to remember this." Leaning into her ear, he said in a sigh, "your scent on my sheets will drive me crazy for the rest of the night."

Buffy moaned with desire, only to be broken off by Angel's hungry kiss. She trailed her fingers down his back, almost clawing at it in her urgent state of want. His mouth fell from her mouth to her neck, and from there to her collar bone and beyond, causing her to whimper in protest of his teasing but groan because of her craving. He looked up at her, heavily breathing and yet, he still searched her eyes for permission. She licked her lips and opened up to him completely opened up to him as the moments sped by in a hazy state. Unlike the first time, neither were hesitant or careful while their blind energy of passion echoed through the room as Buffy's cries of pleasure were muffled by Angel's mouth, filled with excitement and love.

* * *

Thanks to:  
curses ! must cut the thanks; almost 11:00 here and well you know how that is...  
i'll be updating with the thanks; don't worry ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Summary:  
- Buffy meets Angelus once more in the Bronze  
- Buffy and Angel leave; talk at their house and…well…y'know what happens when two people in love "talk"…

* * *

_Everything was black. The sky, the houses…everything was just a dead silhouette of what used to be and what was._

_She looked around her, noticing the sky swirling above her. In an instant, the entire neighborhood disappeared as it was only her and two other figures in the distance._

_She ran. Ran with all of her energy to reach them. And when she did, she wasn't sure if she was happy or not._

_Angel was on one side, sadly looking down upon her. Angelus was in front of her, also gazing down, with angry eyes._

_"You have to choose," Angel said._

_"Who do you belong to?" Angelus growled._

_Buffy looked at both of them, desperately wanting to be anywhere but here._

_"I -- I don't know -- "_

_"Decide," both Angelus and Angel said. And with that, both began to fade away._

* * *

Buffy's eyes opened. She was still a little drowsy as her eyes got used to the lighting. Her dream wasn't terribly frightening. _For once._ But it did shake her up a bit.

The memories of last night came flooding back into her head.

_Angelus._

_Angel._

She looked around the room, realizing that she wasn't in Angel's bed anymore. Carefully, she got out of bed to check if Faith was back. She was, Buffy noted with a sigh. _Was it worth the risk?_

Buffy decided to go for it. Swiftly making her way towards Angel's room, she closed his door behind him and watched him sleep.

His lips were slightly parted, hair ruffled in odd places…it was beautiful. Buffy smiled and sat down next to him. She wanted to hold him, love him. And with a sudden urge to touch him, she did -- her hand softly caressed his face and lightly traced his jaw line with the tips of her fingers. He murmured in his sleep something she couldn't understand, causing her to smile. She decided to let him rest, even though she felt like staying there forever. With a sigh, Buffy pulled the covers over him and quietly exited the room.

She closed the door softly, so he wouldn't be disturbed. When she turned around, she saw a curious Faith watching her.

"Bad dream," Buffy answered, trying to avoid her foster sister's gaze.

_It's kind of the truth._

"Uh huh," Faith answered, not really believing her. "Listen -- you guys aren't getting too close or anything, right?"

Buffy blinked. "Too close?"

"Yeah, you know," Faith said, eyeing Buffy carefully, "like crushes. Or something bigger."

Buffy stayed silent and looked at the wall behind Faith. Buffy's silence eased Faith's worries and with a sigh, she let her guard down. "I was just wondering. That would be…weird, to say the least."

"Weird," Buffy repeated, dumbstruck. "Yeah. Weird."

"So," Faith said, waving away the subject, "any updates on this whole Angel look-alike?"

The two foster sisters walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Buffy told Faith the same thing she told Angel, leaving out the meeting at the Bronze last night.

Faith cursed, grabbing orange juice out of the fridge and sitting down at the table across from Buffy.

"If he knows where you live, knows where to find you, there's no telling what he could do next," she said, taking a sip from the carton. "We've got to do something about this, Buffy."

Buffy sighed. "The only thing I can think of is the police."

Faith snorted. "Like that's going to help."

"She has very little faith in the cops."

Buffy and Faith looked up at Angel, who walked into the kitchen while putting on a button-down shirt. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing, apparently," Faith answered nonchalantly. "I'm just wondering why he's so into you."

It took all of Buffy's self-restraint to remain in her seat and not jump Angel on the spot. "I still don't know," Buffy answered, "but from what I gather, I think he wants to break me."

Angel looked at her carefully. "Break you?"

"Mentally. Physically." Buffy's voice lowered as she added, "maybe more, I don't know."

Angel sat down next to her and ran a hand through his hair. _Self-control…_ "This puts all of us in trouble. Mom and dad, too, even if they aren't here to go through it."

"That reminds me," Faith spoke up, "mom says they'll be staying another week."

Angel nodded and Buffy looked down at her hands. _They're always gone._

"So…" Faith drawled, "I think we could use -- "

"No parties, kid," Angel answered absentmindedly. Buffy was surprised at how well the two knew each other. Then again, they were biologically brother and sister.

Faith's mouth dropped. "What! They're not going to be here, Angel! We should be throwing parties every week!"

"I said no."

The angry brunette cursed before stomping off to the living room. Angel sighed.

"You're a good big brother."

He smiled. "I hope I'm good at other things, too."

His hidden meaning caused Buffy to blush. Brightly. He smiled before wrapping a hand around her. Buffy snuggled deeper into his embrace, inhaling his scent and listening to his heartbeat.

"I thought you might be mad."

Angel stroked her hair. "Why would I be?"

"After last night…I figured you might not want to see me so soon."

He looked at her curiously. "Now where would you get a crazy idea like that?"

Buffy hesitated and looked down at her hands. "I'm not exactly…experienced."

He grinned before placing a hand underneath her head, bringing her eyes to his. "I'm not exactly experienced, either."

He kissed her softly. She smiled into the kiss before slowly backing away. "Faith has a problem with us being together," she stated softly.

Buffy told Angel the story of this morning in hushed tones while they ate breakfast, Angel occasionally leaving to check up on his little sister.

He sighed once he heard the tale. "I don't exactly blame her," he said slowly. "If you were a guy and Faith started taking a liking to you, I would definitely be on over defensive mode."

She shook her head. "This wasn't protectiveness, Angel," Buffy said, her voice rising slightly. "This was "only freaks would do this and that" type caution. Like what Spike had said when -- "

Faith chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. Buffy instantly shut her mouth and looked to her.

A moment of silence fell over the group. Faith stood with her hands on her hips and looked back and forth from Angel to Buffy.

"Mind on telling me what's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Faith," Angel answered, moving away from Buffy to place both their plates in the sink.

She laughed bitterly. "Yeah, and there's a horse growing out of my ass this very moment." With a snort, she added, "you're lying through your teeth, Angel. I'm your fucking sister." Her eyes narrowed and sight landed on Buffy. "And so is she."

Buffy looked down, slightly embarrassed. _Why? I like Angel, he likes me -- what's the problem? Why can't anyone accept it?_

She felt Angel behind her. "Drop it."

The tension was thick in the air. Buffy felt like sinking to the floor and becoming invisible.

"What? The truth too much for you?" Faith asked, taking a step closer. "Or just pissed off because little Faith's not so little, after all?"

Her words triggered something in Buffy. A flashback, or just a memory broken and twisted over time.

_Darla looked at her son with disgust in her eyes. "What the hell have you been doing?"_

_Angelus matched her stare. "What? The truth too much to handle?"_

Buffy closed her eyes and put her hands over her ears to avoid both the yelling of Angel and Faith, and Darla and Angelus.

Faith continued to yell. "You can't have anything, Angel!"

_"Don't you realize that? She's your sister, your sister!" Darla walked rapidly across the room and grabbed Buffy by the hair, making her yell in pain._

_"Don't do that, mother," Angelus growled._

_Darla smirked. "Why? You seem to do it all the time."_

_"She seems to enjoy it," he answered coldly._

Buffy inwardly cringed and tried to stop herself from vomiting.

_"Stupid boy," her "mother" challenged, "I'll kill her here and now if you won't heed to my commands!"_

_Angelus stared at her blankly. "Not if I kill you first."_

Her memory ended as quick as it started. She couldn't remember anything afterwards, but she did know she was transferred from the home immediately after Darla's death.

The yelling continued to rise, and before she knew it, the bile she had been struggling to keep in released.

Faith and Angel both stopped mid-sentenced just as Buffy fell to the floor, unconsciously.

The last thing she heard was both Faith and Angel's calling.

* * *

_First: extreme apologies for the long wait. I'll be updating on a regular basis (I hope) now that inspiration's kicked in and I know where I'm going with this story.  
__Remember: leave any suggestions you might have; they help in a BIG way !_

Thanks To:

Everyone who reviewed, and kept patience while I actually started rewriting this chapter : )

- CathyD (aww thanks for pointing out what you loved about it…and we'll find out what the deal is between Angelus/Angel eventually…)

- buffynangelforever

- fanficer lore

- buff

- lis

- IsabelGuerin08 (glad you're still reading !)

- Claddagh Ring

- Jay

- Blondiegrl

- Amanda

- Regan (they will be meeting, eventually…)

- Piscean Wisdom

- C'est Magnifique

- buffy4592

- bloodthristygoddess

- danielle

- angelishot17

- maeve of the nile

- elizabeth (hahaha I'm glad you loved it ! And I think you're getting somewhere with the Angel/Angelus thing…I'll check out the song, too)

- buff angel fan124

- cra-z-lunatic (thanks; haha, I'm in love with Angelus' dark ways, as well)

- Charlotte Paton


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